Music my release
by warnesy-01
Summary: Bella finally finds a way to let go of some of the pain; music. But when some new vampires show up, will she be able to deal with it? Will they help or only make things worse? And what will the Cullens think when they find out Bella's in a band?
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my latest story! This is my absolute favourite story I have written because:**

**It has music in it! I LOVE music and singing (See my profile for more info) and this story uses some of my favourites songs :)**

**It is my longest story so far. I'm so proud :)**

**I made up 7 new characters :)**

**I'm sure there's other reasons that I just can't remember at the moment, but for now, please enjoy :D Takes place in New Moon.**

**  
Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer is the lovely owner of Twilight :) I don't own the song either.

"Damn it, Bella! I'm sending you to Jacksonville!" Charlie yelled as he slammed his fist down on the table.

"Why?" I asked, hurt. Didn't he want me around? I was always well behaved, why did I deserve to be shipped off to a place I didn't want to be?

"Because I'm sick of this! Watching you try so hard to act normal, it hurts me Bella. Maybe if you go to Jacksonville you'll be able to get over this," Charlie said.

"I'm not going to Jacksonville, I haven't done anything wrong," I said stubbornly. I didn't care about much anymore, but this was the one thing I was decided on. I wouldn't- no I _couldn't_ leave Forks. If I did, how would I ever really know _he_ existed? I couldn't risk losing what little I had left of _them_.

"I know Bells, but that's the thing. You don't do anything. When was the last time you saw any of your friends?" he asked.

"Yesterday at lunch," I said defensively.

"Out of school. You never see anyone or answer any calls. Just the other day Jessica Stanley called to invite you to her party tonight and you never called back," he said.

"Fine, I'll call Jess and tell her I'm going to the party, but I'm not going to Jacksonville," I said, my teenage instincts taking over. I marched over to the phone and dialled Jess' number.

"Hello," I heard her voice through the receiver.

"Hey Jess," I said, my voice still a little snappy because I was still annoyed with Charlie.

"Bella? What's up?" she asked, sounding surprised. I hadn't spoken to anyone in months, so this probably seemed pretty out of the blue.

"Sorry for the late reply, but I just wanted to let you know I'll be coming to your party tonight," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"That's great! The party starts at 7:00 and goes 'till 11:00, and there'll be food and drink there, so all you have to do is show up! It's at my place by the way," she rambled.

"Okay, thanks Jess, I'll see you there," I said.

"See you later, Bella!" she said excitedly before hanging up. At least one of us was excited.

"There, I'm going, happy now?" I asked, annoyed, to Charlie. He nodded his head, though it didn't really look like he meant it, and I stalked off to my room.

Once I calmed down and got over my annoyance with Charlie, I began to worry. What was I thinking, going to a party? There was obviously going to be people and music, the things I tried to avoid. I had broken all of my CDs after _he_ left; music just brought back painful memories.

It was too late to back out now. I would just have to find a way to deal with it.

At quartered to seven I left for Jess' house. I hadn't put on anything special, just some jeans and a t-shirt. When I arrived I saw that all of the other girls were wearing pretty dresses and tops, with lots of make-up. I didn't really care; I was more worried about not breaking down and looking like a mental patient in front of everyone.

"Bella!" Jess called rather loudly as she opened the door. Everyone turned to stare at me in shock; no one had seen me out of school in ages.

I walked in, trying to avoid all of the curious gazes following me. It was just like my first day at Forks High School, with everyone staring at me. The only ones not to stare at me that day had been _them_.

I wrapped my arms tightly around my torso and Jess eyed me curiously. I had just realized why she was so enthusiastic for me to be here; she wanted some gossip. Great.

I walked over to the corner furthest from where everyone was standing. Eventually people started talking and dancing again and I relaxed a little.

"Did you want anything? Food? Drink?" Jess offered.

"No thanks," I muttered. Thankfully there was a knock at the door at that moment and she was forced to go answer it.

A song started to play on the CD player in the opposite corner of the room. This wouldn't be good.

_You took my hand  
You showed me how  
You promised me you'd be around  
Uh huh  
That's right  
I took your words  
And I believed  
In everything  
You said to me  
Yeah huh  
That's right  
_

I could actually relate pretty well with those lyrics._ He_ had promised he'd be around, and I'd believed him. I listened in closer to the rest of the song.

_  
If someone said three years from now  
You'd be long gone  
I'd stand up and punch them out  
Cause they're all wrong  
I know better  
Cause you said forever  
And ever  
Who knew_

Remember when we were such fools  
And so convinced and just too cool  
Oh no  
No no  
I wish I could touch you again  
I wish I could still call you friend  
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now  
'fore they're long gone  
I guess I just didn't know how  
I was all wrong  
They knew better  
Still you said forever  
And ever  
Who knew

Yeah yeah  
I'll keep you locked in my head  
Until we meet again  
Until we  
Until we meet again  
And I won't forget you my friend  
What happened?

If someone said three years from now  
You'd be long gone  
I'd stand up and punch them out  
Cause they're all wrong and  
That last kiss  
I'll cherish  
Until we meet again  
And time makes  
It harder  
I wish I could remember  
But I keep  
Your memory  
You visit me in my sleep  
My darling  
Who knew

_My darling  
My darling  
Who knew  
My darling  
I miss you  
My darling  
Who knew  
Who knew_

After the song finished I spent the rest of the night deep in thought. I had always avoided music, thinking it would hurt to listen to, when really it had helped. It was like the song was written especially for me. I had believed _him _when he said he loved me, who knew he would only leave in the end? I should have.

For months I had closed myself off, trying to numb the pain, but maybe there was another way. Maybe music would help me let go of some of the pain.

**There's the first chapter, what did you think? The song is 'Who Knew' by Pink. I absolutely love Pink, and 'Who Knew' is one of my favourite songs by her. I know it's been used before, but it's just fits perfectly, so I'm using it too :) I'll probably update again tomorrow night and/or Thursday. Thanks for reading :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to those lovely people who reviewed and added me or this story on favourite/alert, it's much appreciated :) I forgot to mention last chapter; I highly recommend listening to the songs as you read, so you get the intended emotions, and they're just down right awesome songs :D**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight or the songs.

When I got home Charlie was still up.

"How was the party?" he asked.

"It was good, I had lots of fun," I lied. He looked shocked to get a decent answer out of me for once.

When I went to bed that night I curled up into a ball, expecting a vicious attack. I had been thinking about _him_ a lot, and I was sure to pay.

I wasn't disappointed. I woke screaming after the same dream as every other night. My alarm clock said it was 5:30 in the morning. I looked out of my window to find Charlie's cruiser missing; fishing again.

I started to think about the dream, how I had the same one every night. Would it ever end? I decided to try my idea from last night. I grabbed a pen and paper and started to jot down whatever words popped into my head. I was surprised to find they came so easily.

After half and hour of editing and brainstorming, I looked down at my finished work.

_Just woke up and thought I'd try  
__Try to step across the line  
__You know that I've been thinking 'bout it for a while  
__Yeah_

_Starting to think it's time I leave  
__Does me good to know I finally feel  
__Feel this pain, it's real, it's possible_

_(You say)  
__Can't change the winds, you say  
__Won't matter anyway  
__Can't reach that far  
_'_Cause it's impossible (it's impossible)  
__Can't rise above this place  
__Won't change your mind, so I pray  
__Breaking down the walls to the impossible (it's impossible)_

_Walking by myself I know  
__This lonely road's becoming my new home  
__But I don't stop  
__I just keep moving on, and on_

_Ain't no need to dry my eyes  
__I haven't cried in quite some time  
__Everyday I fight it,  
__You know it's possible_

_(You say)  
__Can't change the winds, you say  
__Won't matter anyway  
__Can't reach that far  
_'_Cause it's impossible (it's impossible)  
__Can't rise above this place  
__Won't change your mind, so I pray  
__Breaking down the walls to the impossible (it's impossible)_

_Someone tell me why  
__It's so hard taking chances  
__You draw the line and think that  
__I won't ask for more  
__Yeah  
__I will stumble and I'll make my own mistakes  
__Yeah  
__But I won't worry about it anymore  
__It's impossible_

_(You say)  
__Can't change the winds, you say  
__Won't matter anyway  
__Can't reach that far  
_'_Cause it's impossible (it's impossible)  
__Can't rise above this place  
__Won't change your mind, so I pray  
__Breaking down the walls to the impossible (it's impossible)_

_It's impossible to you  
__Not impossible for me  
__Not impossible for me_

_Can't rise above this place (impossible to you)  
__Won't change enough, so I pray (not impossible for me)  
__Breaking down the walls to the impossible (not impossible for me)  
__(It's impossible) _

_Just woke up and thought I'd try  
__Try to step across the line_

He had always thought it was impossible for us to work, a human and a… one of _them_, but I didn't think so. Well, I didn't used to, until I knew he didn't love me.

I was amazed; I had actually written a song. It wasn't number one hit-single material, but it was still a song. After all of the time I'd spent going over and over it, the song was stuck in my head. I hummed it as I worked all day, sometimes singing the lyrics under my breath. Thought no one was home to hear me, I wasn't exactly the type to start belting out a tune.

The day passed quickly and soon enough Charlie was home. He gave me a strange look as I set dinner down in front of him.

"What?" I asked; it was only spaghetti. He shook his head and muttered, "Nothing", before starting to eat.

As I sat down I realized I had been absentmindedly humming my song. Was it really that surprising that I was listening to music again?

Once I started writing and listening to music, my life went back to normal. Well, as normal as my life could be.

One day I got to school and some new kids had arrived. These weren't any new students, but vampires. Even though I had healed some what, it still hurt to think about _them_, and these vampires were just painful reminders.

After school I went to the music rooms at the back of the school like I did most days. Some people thought it was pretty nerdy to stay after school, but I found it useful. The music block was secluded from the rest of the school, so no one would hear me, no one ever used it, and it was made exactly for this purpose. It seemed like the perfect place to me.

I went to the room and started to sing a new song that had just come to me. It was strange, sometimes songs came straight to me and I remembered them easily, other times I had to spend a little while sitting down writing them out. This was one of those times the full song came straight to me, as if I already knew it off by heart. I started to sing it.

_One night to you  
Lasted six weeks for me  
Just a bitter little pill now  
Just to try to go to sleep  
No more waking up to innocence  
Say hello to hesitance  
To everyone I meet  
Thanks to you years ago  
I guess I'll never know  
What love means to me but oh  
I'll keep on rolling down this road  
But I've got a bad, bad feeling_

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long, long way to happy

Left my childhood behind  
In a roll away bed  
Everything was so damn simple  
Now I'm losing my head  
Trying to cover up the damage  
And pat out all the bruises  
too young to know I had it  
So it didn't hurt to lose it  
Didn't hurt to lose it  
No but oh  
I'll keep on rolling down this road  
But I've got a bad, bad feeling

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing  
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name  
I just want to thank you  
Thank you  
From the bottom of my heart  
For all the sleepless nights  
And for tearing me apart yeah yeah

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
'cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

I felt better after singing the song. It helped letting out the pain the new vampires had caused me all day.

**Sorry it's really short, the next one will be longer, promise :) The first song is 'Impossible' by Kelly Clarkson and the second is 'Long Way to Happy' by Pink. Be warned; this is the first of many Kelly Clarkson songs to come. I love her songs, and they just fit so perfectly :) Could you honour me with a review? I would really love to hear what you have to say. Please? :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to all of my lovely readers and reviewers, you're amazing! :)**

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. No songs in this one :(

I was just about to leave school when I heard a knock on the door of the music room. I opened it, confused, to find four breathtakingly beautiful people- or should I say vampires- standing in front of me.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we were just walking past and we couldn't help over-hearing you sing. Can I just say, you sounded absolutely amazing," one of the two girls said. She was slightly shorter than me, and had long, silky, brown hair.

"Oh, well, thanks," I said, blushing. I had never been naturally good at anything, and had always been too embarrassed to sing in front of anyone to know I was any good.

"Sorry, we haven't introduced ourselves. I'm Steven, this is my girlfriend Rachel, my brother Leon and his girlfriend Melinda," one of the guys with short wavy brown hair said. The other three gave a cheery "Hello", or "Hi".

"Hi, I'm Bella," I said with a small smile.

"You know, we're in a band, and we've been looking for a lead singer. I think you'd be perfect! What do you say?" Leon said enthusiastically.

"Umm… I guess so…" I trailed off, unsure. I didn't know anything about being in a band. The other three all sent him looks ranging from annoyance to exasperation. I realized they were probably worried about keeping their secret.

"That song you were singing before, did you write it?" Leon asked.

"Yeah," I said hesitantly.

"That's awesome. Those lyrics were really deep, are they based on a personal experience?" he continued. Melinda slapped him around the back of the head.

"Hey! What was that for?!" he said indignantly.

"You don't ask that, doofus, it's private! We barely even know each other," she said.

"No, don't worry about it. I'll probably have to tell you about it anyway," I said. They all gave me quizzical looks.

"I know you're vampires," I explained.

"How?" the first girl, Rachel, asked.

"I knew a family of 'vegetarian' vampires before. They used to go here and…" I trailed off.

"And what?" Steven asked curiously. I took a deep breath.

"And one of them… Edward," I forced out his name," told me he loved me. We were together for months; his family was like my second family. I loved them all," I said, wrapping my arms around my torso in an attempt to keep myself together.

"What happened?" Rachel asked hesitantly. That's when I broke down, letting out all of my pain. I told them everything about Edward leaving me in the woods, how I went 'zombie' for months and how I used music to help cope. It hurt to talk about, but at the same time I felt a little relieved to finally be able to talk about it all, without having to hold back or keep secrets.

When I'd finished talking Steven began to growl. I looked at him in shock.

"That's just… ugh. That makes me so angry. How could anyone do that to someone? He explained. I was surprised by his reaction.

"I'm so sorry. No one should have to go through that," Rachel said, giving me a comforting hug. I hugged her back. Though I hadn't even known them for a day, I felt like I could trust them, and it felt good to have someone to comfort me.

"So, do you still want to be in the band?" Leon asked. Melinda whacked him again and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Ignore him, we understand it you don't want to be in the band," Melinda said. I giggled.

"No, I'd love to be in the band," I said with a grin.

"Great. Well, I'm the drummer, Mel's the bass guitarist, Leon's lead guitar and Rach's keyboardist and back-up singer," Steven explained.

"There are also our parents; Daniel is our manager and Pippa's our choreographer," Rachel added.

"But I've never performed before, you guys are the first to hear me sing, and I certainly can't dance. I'm the world's biggest klutz," I said, my voice becoming frantic.

Leon chuckled, "Don't worry, you have natural talent, and Pip will help you get your footing on stage."

"Okay," I said sceptically.

"Come on, let's go introduce you to them," Mel said excitedly. I followed them and tripped on my way out of the doorway. Steven caught me just before I hit the floor.

"Wow, you definitely need Pip's help," he said, laughing, and of course, I blushed bright red.

**So we finally meet some of our mystery vampires :P Dan and Pip come in next chapter and we find out a little bit about all of their history and powers :) As always, your input would be much loved :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Heaps of people have been asking for a single vamp that's really protective of Bella, but I've purposefully not done that in this story, because I did that in one of my other stories. The whole plot of '**_**New Life' **_**is practically based around that, so go read it if that's the sort of drama you're looking for :)**

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but I do own Steven, Rachel, Leon, Melinda, Daniel and Pippa :)

"So, I told you my history, what about you guys?" I asked as we reached the car park.

"It's not too interesting; we all started off just ourselves and our mates. Rachel and I met Dan and Pip about 60 years ago. They'd already been at this lifestyle for about 15 years, and we decided to give it a try. We met Leon and Mel about 7 years later," Steven explained.

"Do any of you have powers?" I inquired.

"Only Steve, and it's one of the coolest powers ever!" Leon said. I laughed at his enthusiasm.

"What can you do?" I asked Steven. He didn't answer, he only stared at me. After a few seconds his expression became slightly frustrated; it was the face _he_ had when he couldn't read my mind.

"Steve what's wrong?" Rachel asked him.

"I can't connect her," he muttered, his voice full of confusion.

"What?" I asked.

"I can connect people's minds, so we can have silent conversations without talking out loud, but I can't hear anything from you. Can you hear me?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"Strange, I've never had that before," he muttered.

"We'll ask Dan when we get home. Come on, let's go," Rachel said.

"Okay, I'll follow you guys in my truck," I said.

As I followed the others I was thinking about Steve's power. _He_ hadn't been able to read my mind either, what if there was something wrong with my brain? Was there some sort of glitch which stopped vampire's abilities working on me? But Alice and Jasper- I cringed thinking their names- had still been able to see my future and manipulate my emotions.

Before I could give it any more thought or get too worked up, we arrived at a house in a secluded part of the forest. It was a common house, two stories with a double garage. I parked my truck out the front.

I followed Steven, Rachel, Leon and Melinda inside, where I saw Dan and Pip waiting in the living room. Both of their faces were filled with obvious love for their children, which changed to surprise when they saw me.

"Dan, Pip, this is Bella, she goes to Forks High School with us," Melinda said.

"Well, hello there," Pip said sweetly. Dan was looking at Steven, obviously talking with his mind.

"She knows what we are," Steven stated in answer to whatever he had thought. Both of their eyebrows rose.

"And how is that?" Dan asked me curiously. I bit my lip, I had already had to explain that once today, I don't think I could cope a second time.

"Don't worry, I'll fill them in," Steven said, before staring at Dan and Pip. After a few minutes of silence, Dan spoke.

"Oh, I see," he said in a subdued tone.

"I'm so sorry, honey, it must be awful," Pip said sympathetically.

"Thank you, but I think I'm getting better now," I said with a small smile.

"That's nice to hear," she said, smiling sweetly in return.

"Okay, so now we're all on the same page, we have some interesting news," Melanie said, looking at me.

"Steve can't connect her!" Leon cut in, obviously wanting to be the one to tell the news. The other three rolled their eyes, but smiled as I let out a small giggle.

"Really? That's interesting," Dan said with a thoughtful expression.

"Why do you think that is?" Rachel asked.

"I'm not sure, who really knows how our powers work?" Dan asked.

"Carlisle had a theory," I said. I winced a little at saying his name and they all gave me sympathetic looks.

"He thinks that you all bring your strongest characteristic from your human life into your vampire life, and it gets enhanced," I continued.

"That makes sense, people always said I had a knack for getting people to connect and see each other's points of view in my human life," Steven said.

"So what did the rest of us bring?" Melinda asked.

"You probably brought your loyalty," Rachel said to her.

"And Rach brought her kindness," Steven said lovingly.

"And Pip always loved dancing, and now she's one of the best choreographers ever," Melinda said enthusiastically.

"And Dan brought his leadership," Pip smiled proudly up at her mate.

"What about me?" Leon asked.

"You brought your childishness," Steven laughed. Leon pouted.

"I think you brought the ability to make other people happy. You've been making me laugh all afternoon," I said.

"That sounds like Leon," Pip said, adoration in her eyes as she watched him. She was so much like Esme when it came to her children, but in looks she was completely different. Esme had always had a soft look about her. Pip had a fit, athletic look about her, which suited her dancing personality perfectly.

"Come on Bella, we'll show you our 'Band Room'," Melinda said.

"Alright," I said, following them down a hall and down some stairs.

The 'band room' was a massive room, probably taking up the whole space underneath the house. It was obviously made for practice. There were instruments, microphones, amps and a dance floor where Pip could choreograph.

"Wow," I said as I took in the room.

"Yeah, the walls are specially made to absorb sound so it's not too loud when we practice," Melinda said.

"This is amazing," I said.

"Come on, let's hear what you can do," Leon said, throwing me a mic. Of course I dropped it, luckily Rachel raced in to catch it.

"Thanks," I said as I shook my head at Leon.

"Right, sorry, I forgot. World's biggest klutz," he chuckled. I tried to glare at him, but only ended up grinning.  
"What do you want me to sing?" I asked reluctantly.

"How about you start with that one from before, then show us the rest of your material," Dan suggested.

"Alright," I said, I took a deep breath and started singing. At the start of every song I would be hesitant and self-conscious, but the others would soon pick up the feel of the song and put music to it. By the end of each song I was totally into the music.

"Wow, that was great! You're perfect Bella," Dan encouraged. I blushed; I still wasn't used to actually being good at something. I looked at my watch; it was already 6:00.

"Oh, sorry guys, I've got to get home and feed my dad, but I'll see you at school tomorrow," I said.

"Alright, bye Bella," they all said.

That was how my life continued. I would spend the weekends and two weekdays at the band's house, practicing the songs and learning how to walk without falling with Pippa.

I spent the other three days of the week at my house with Rach, Mel, Steve and Leon doing schoolwork. They all finished within minutes and had silent conversations while I studied. That annoyed me to no end; I hated being left out.

Charlie was happy I finally had my life back on track, and I was happy to finally be having fun with something I was good at.

I graduated from high school and decided to move in with the band. They had become like a family to me, and I practically lived with them anyway. I did feel guilty leaving Charlie on his own, but he assured me he was a grown man and could look after himself.

The band started doing gigs in Seattle and we were discovered by a talent scout. He helped set us up with a recording studio and we made our first album. We were finally starting to make it big time and we began touring, but only in the cloudier parts of the north.

**Again, no songs :( But there will be two in the next chapter, besides this is a long one anyway :) Well, by my standards, at least.**

**Guess whose back next chapter? And we get a special look into the mind of a certain someone ;)**

**I have a slight problem though;**** I have been thinking and thinking, but I'm seriously blank on a name for the band! If you have any suggestions, please, please, please send them to me in a review or PM, and I will dedicate the next chapter to you, or give you some other kind of reward. Thanks :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to **_**bebepantheon, kari, Harry Albus Potter Dumbledore **_**and**_** KerryKerry92**_** for their suggestions for a band name, they were all amazing ideas! But the dedication for this chapter goes to **_**TWIMOM**_** for her winning name. So simple, yet so brilliant! It was exactly what I needed, thanks!**

**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, the songs, or the band name. How sad. But I do own the characters, so that has to make up for something :)

"Hurry up Bella. The show starts in two minutes!" Mel called.

"Alright, alright, hold your horses. We're not all vampires you know," I muttered, low enough only they could hear. They all laughed and I couldn't help but smile.

We waited off to the side of the stage as the warm-up act finished their song.

"Okay, okay, now the people you've all been waiting for; _Forever After_", they introduced us.

We walked out on stage, waving to the crowd as we took our positions. The fact that I could walk out on stage and not trip over my own feet always made me more confident. I walked up to the mic that was front and centre of the stage.

"Hello everybody! How are you doing?" I asked, and they all cheered like crazy. That always gave me a sort of rush. It was nice to know that people liked us, that they were actually excited to have us standing here on the stage in front of them.

"That's nice to hear. This first song's called I Hate Myself For Losing You," I introduced the song.

**  
Edward's POV:**

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the flyer Alice brought home advertising a concert for _Forever After_, the band which Bella was a lead singer and songwriter for. Bella didn't write songs or sing, did she? Apparently, she did. That's why I was sitting in a massive concert hall filled with hundreds of humans, whose excitement was about to make Jasper explode.

For months I had been dead, empty without my Bella. Now that I could finally get to see her again, I thought I may go crazy if I had to wait any longer.

Finally, after an excruciatingly long time that felt like an eternity, the warm-up band ended their last song, introducing _Forever After_. I watched Bella walk out on stage with four other… vampires! What was she doing with vampires, when we left to protect her from our kind? The rest of my family were all just as shocked as I was.

"Hello, everybody! How are you doing?" Bella asked. I basked gratefully in the relief of finally hearing her angel's voice again, but I still could hardly believe it was her. My Bella was self-conscious and clumsy, but this Bella was confident and… happy. She was absolutely beaming as she stood on the stage.

It hurt to know she'd moved on without us, without me, but I shouldn't be upset, that was why I forced my family to leave in the first place.

"That's nice to hear. This first song's called I Hate Myself For Losing You," she became subdued as the song started and she started to sing.

_I woke up today  
Woke up wide awake  
In an empty bed  
Staring at an empty room  
I have myself to blame  
For the state I'm in today  
And now dying  
Doesn't seem so cruel  
And oh, I don't know what to say  
And I don't know anyway  
Anymore_

I hate myself for losing you  
I'm seeing it all so clear  
I hate myself for losing you  
What do you do when you look in the mirror  
And staring at you is why he's not here?

You got what you deserved  
Hope you're happy now  
'Cause everytime I think of her with you  
It's killing me  
Inside, and  
Now I dread each day  
Knowing that I can't be saved  
From the loneliness  
Of living without you  
And, oh  
I don't know what to do  
Not sure that I'll pull through  
I wish you knew

I hate myself for losing you  
I'm seeing it all so clear  
I hate myself for losing you  
What do you do when you look in the mirror  
And staring at you is why he's not here?

I hate myself for losing you  
And oh, I don't know what to do  
Not sure that I'll pull through  
I wish you knew  
And oh, I don't know what to say  
And I don't know anyway  
Anymore  
No, no

I hate myself for losing you  
(I'm seeing it all so clear)  
I'm seeing it all so clear  
I hate myself for losing you  
What do you do when you look in the mirror  
And staring at you is why he's not here?  
What do you say when everything you said  
Is the reason why he left you in the end?  
How do you cry when every day you shout  
"Don't ever bring him back again?"  
I hate myself for loving you

I was in absolute shock when the song ended. For one, I had no idea that Bella had such an amazing voice. It was beautiful. For the thousandth time since I'd met her, I futilely tried to read her mind. When had she started singing? And what possessed her to start? I felt a pang of regret that I had missed what seemed like such a drastic change in her life.

It was obvious the song was about me leaving her, though. I had no idea that it would affect her this way; that she could react so badly. I thought she would just move on and live a happy, normal, human life. Obviously, I was wrong on all accounts.

Did she really blame herself, though? She was the most beautiful creature in existence; I detested the thought of her hating herself. It tore my dead heart to shreds to think she hurt so much because of me. I wanted so badly to run up on stage and hold her and tell her that it wasn't her fault, that it had been my own stupid mistake to ever thinking of leaving her.

Before I could do anything, Bella was introducing the next song.

"This one's called Its All Your Fault"

_  
I conjure up the thought of being gone  
But I'd probably even do that wrong  
I try to think about which way  
Would I be able to and would I be afraid_

Cause oh I'm bleeding out inside  
Oh I don't even mind (Yeah)

It's all your fault  
You called me beautiful  
You turned me out  
And now I can't turn back  
I hold my breath  
Because you were perfect  
But I'm running out of air  
And it's not fair

Da da dada da dada da  
Da dadadadadada da dadadadadada

I'm trying to figure out what else to say (What else could I say)  
To make you turn around and come back this way (Would you just come back this way)  
I feel like we could be really awesome together  
So make up your mind cause it's now or never (oh)

It's all your fault  
You called me beautiful  
You turned me out  
And now I can't turn back  
I hold my breath  
Because you were perfect  
But I'm running out of air  
And it's not fair

I would never pull the trigger  
But I've cried wolf a thousand times  
I wish you could  
Feel as bad as I do  
I have lost my mind

It's all your fault  
You called me beautiful  
You turned me out  
And now I can't turn back  
I hold (I hold) my breath (My breath)  
Because you were perfect  
But I'm running out of air (running out of air)  
And it's not fair

(Oh yeah  
It's all your fault)

I hold my breath  
Because you were perfect  
But I'm running out of air  
And it's not (It's not) fair

That song was both worse and better than the other. She thought everything I had ever said to her was a lie, when really the only time I had lied was in the forest, and that was the only time she believed me! I didn't care that she blamed me, I deserved so much worse, and I was glad she wasn't blaming herself. Well, at least I didn't think she was.

There were a couple more songs, but I couldn't pay them much attention, I was so wrapped up in the first two. Of course I still listened, I savoured every second I could hear her melodic voice, but I couldn't make out distinct words, it all just became one beautiful hum in the back of my mind.

_Forever After_ then took a break, and the warm up band came back on. The minute she was out of my sight I began to miss her, longing for her return to the stage when I could see her beautiful face and hear her amazing voice again.

**  
Yay, Edward's POV! And the Cullens are back on the scene! The songs were 'I Hate Myself For Losing You' by Kelly Clarkson and 'Its All Your Fault' by Pink. I'm curious; does anyone actually listen to the songs as they read? I hope so, they're cool songs and it really helps to listen to understand the full emotion :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Great response from the last chapter, it was awesome! I was expecting maybe one or two people to say they listened to the music as they read, so I was pleasantly surprised by the amount that said they did :)**

**  
Disclaimer: **Don't own Twilight or the song, but I do own the band :)

**  
Bella POV:**

I really got into 'Its All Your Fault'. I wrote all of my songs as though I were speaking directly to _him_. That was why they were always so emotional.

I wrote 'I Hate Myself For Losing You' before I met the band, when I still blamed myself for _him_ leaving. After meeting the band and seeing their reactions to my past, I had stopped blaming myself. Whenever I got upset over _them_, Mel would talk about how much she hated them, and I realized that it wasn't my fault he had left. I wrote 'Its All Your Fault' soon after that. Now I was more in the middle. I still missed them, and of course I would always love him, but I didn't blame myself anymore.

I had worried that the band would get sick of playing my sad, heartbroken songs, Pip definitely couldn't choreograph a dance to them, but they said they didn't mind. They told me just to write from the heart, so that's what I did.

I did a couple more songs after 'Its All Your Fault' before we took a break. Of course, the other four didn't need one, but they insisted I had one.

"Great job guys, the crowd love you," Dan encouraged.

"It's all of Bella's awesome songs," Rach said. I rolled my eyes.

"More like you guys' great playing," I said. They all sighed and shook their heads. They all hated the way I couldn't accept that I was any good, but you come to feel that way after someone tells you you're not good enough for them. I winced and mentally scolded myself for thinking like that. That was in the past, and I was moving on with my new family now.

After a ten minute break we went back out on stage.

"Hey guys, did you miss us?" I asked into the mic. The crowd cheered the loudest they had all night. I pretended to cover my ears and wince.

"I'll take that as a yes," I laughed. I loved being on stage, it was like I was a whole new, carefree, me. Nothing else existed except the band and our fans.

I did a few more songs, and then the night was nearly over.

"Alright, guys. I want to finish tonight on a happier note. I wrote this song for my family here, who found me when I was in a pretty bad place. This one's called 'You Found Me'.

_Is this a dream?  
If it is  
Please don't wake me from this high  
I'd become comfortably numb  
Until you opened up my eyes  
To what it's like  
When everything's right  
I can't believe_

You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me  
You found me

So, here we are  
That's pretty far  
When you think of where we've been  
No going back  
I'm fading out  
All that has faded me within  
You're by my side  
Now everything's fine  
I can't believe

You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me  
You found me

And I was hiding  
'Til you came along  
And showed me where I belong  
You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know?  
How did you know?

You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me

(You found me)  
(When no one else was lookin')  
You found me  
(How did you know just where I would be?)  
You broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
The good and the bad  
And the things in between  
You found me  
You found me

"Thanks everybody, have a good night," I thanked the audience. It was as I was walking off stage that something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. I turned my head and stumbled to a stop. I couldn't dare to believe it. It couldn't be, but it was. The Cullens. They all looked hurt for some reason.

Steve, Leon, Rach and Mel had all stopped around me. I heard Mel growl and Rach grabbed my hand and pulled me off stage.

"Bella, was that the Cullens?" Rach asked softly. I nodded my head mutely, I couldn't find my voice.

Mel was muttering a string of profanities too fast for me to dissect the separate words. Yep, she was definitely loyal.

"What's wrong?" Pippa asked as she and Dan met us. Steve must have connected their thoughts, because Pip pulled me into a comforting hug.

"Oh sweetheart, it's alright," she said. Again, I could only nod my head.

We went back to the dressing room. I sat in a daze, unable to believe what I had just seen. They were really here, but why? Was it a mere coincidence, or was there a reason for them being here? I couldn't see how there was, _he_ had promised I would never see him again.

I couldn't deny I was happy, whether or not they were here to see me, they were still here. I had seen them, if only for a few seconds, a privilege I didn't think I would ever receive again.

After the initial shock, I could see the others all looking at each other intently. I realized Steve had connected them all and they were having a silent conversation.

"You know I hate it when you do that," I stated. They all looked at me, sighing in relief. Great, they were having a silent conversation about _me_.

"Are you alright?" Rach asked her voice full of concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a bit shocked," I said, trying to smile. I'm not sure that it worked.

There was a knock at the door and one of the security guys came in.

"There's some people out here with all access backstage passes, we're sending them through now," he said, before walking out again.

I shared a confused look with the rest of my family. All access backstage passes? You'd have to be rich to afford those… Oh crap.

I suddenly became very worried. What was I supposed to say? The others saw my distress.

"Don't worry, Bells, we'll keep the big scary vampires away," Leon said with a wink. I giggled; I could always count on Leon to make me feel better.

That amusement faded as my former family walked through the door.

We all stood in silence for a while, just staring at each other. Suddenly, Alice ran towards me and Mel growled and jumped in her path, causing a crash like thunder to reverberate through the whole building. It took a second for my brain to catch up with the fast string of events.

"Is everything okay in here?" the security guy asked as he and a few others entered the room. Thankfully Alice and Mel had jumped up just before they came in, so nothing looked suspicious.

"Yes. I wonder what that strange noise was before," Dan said in a thoughtful tone, deciding to play dumb. The security guys stood there for a few seconds before shrugging and walking out.

"Maybe we should take this meeting somewhere more private?" Dan offered.

"I agree, where do you suppose we meet?" Carlisle asked.

"Follow us, we have a permanent residence nearby," Dan said. We were starting our tour in Seattle so we got to stay a few more days in Forks before we moved on to the next city.

"Alright, we'll follow you," Carlisle said. We walked outside and went to our separate cars. The band had a seven-seater specially used for music business. The others would happily run everywhere, except they needed to keep up appearances.

Just before I got into the van, I shot one last look towards the Cullens. Edward and Alice were the only ones still standing outside of the silver Volvo, looks of sadness and something else I could place in their eyes. It wasn't until I was in my seat and we were driving that I realized what it was; longing.

I shook off the thought, they had left, they didn't want me; I must have imagined it. It would be ridiculous to start hoping now, when I had tried so hard to move forward. And quite frankly; hoping hurt.

**  
Trust me, they will end up talking and all that stuff, but I'm trying to make my stories longer, so I'm dragging it out a bit. They, of course, will get back together eventually :) Thanks for reading, please let me know your views, I want to know what you think :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I was a little disappointed from last chapter's response. I was holding off updating, hoping I'd get a few more reviews, but I didn't :( See, more reviews means faster updates. Oh well, here's the next chapter :)**

**  
Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns all the things you recognize as Twilight i.e. everything that's not Dan, Pip, Steve, Rach, Leon, Mel or the plot :)

We arrived at our house in Forks and made our way to the living room.

"Please, make yourselves comfortable," Pip said, gesturing to the multiple couches in the room. I knew it was pointless, seeing as they could have stood still for a whole week and still have been comfortable, but she was trying to be hospitable and courteous.

"Thank you," Esme said as they all took seats. Jasper and Alice took one of the loveseats, while Emmett and Rosalie took the other. Carlisle, Esme and Edward took one of the couches, while Dan, Pip and I took the other. Mel sat on the floor in front of my feet, Rachel sat on the arm of the chair next to me and Steve and Leon stood behind me. It was like they were making a barrier around me.

"Let me introduce you to my family. These are my children; Leon and his mate Melinda, Steve and his mate Rachel, and you already know Bella. This is my wife, Pippa, and I am Daniel," Dan said.

"It's good to meet you. These are my children; Jasper and his mate Alice, Emmett and his mate Rosalie, and my son Edward. This is my wife Esme and I am Carlisle," Carlisle said. I looked at each person fleetingly as he said their names and they were all watching me with a range of emotions. Jasper looked serious and Alice looked torn between joy and sadness. Emmett was grinning largely as always and Rosalie was, well, I'm not sure what Rosalie was. She wasn't glaring or scowling at me as she usually did, and her face was blank except for a suppressed emotion deep in her eyes I couldn't make out. Carlisle looked calm and smiled, as did Esme, but she had a little bit of hidden worry and hurt in her eyes. Lastly I looked to Edward and he was watching me intently, a perfect poker face on. Usually I could see what he felt through his eyes, but they were a hard topaz at the moment, the same way they had looked that day in the forest. I flinched away, dropping my eyes.

"I didn't know you could sing Bella!" Emmett said. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Neither did I," I said simply. I didn't feel like going into detail, especially seeing as detail meant explaining I used music as an outlet for the pain they had caused me.

I saw Rach look up at Steve, and I looked up to see him staring at Dan. I sighed.

"Sorry Bella," Steve grinned down at me.

I just rolled my eyes. The Cullens all looked very confused, except for Edward.

"He can connect minds, similar to my mind reading, but both ways," Edward explained in his velvet voice, "he can't hear Bella either," he continued.

"That's interesting," Carlisle said.

"Annoying more like it," I muttered.

"I thought you didn't want your mind read," Edward said, his voice full of confusion.

"If it worked both ways, then it wouldn't be too bad," I said, shrugging. He looked hurt. Excellent, well done Bella. I always seem to stuff everything up.

"Don't feel guilty, I know what you meant," Edward said. I dropped my eyes; all these powers in the room were making me feel very confused and insignificant.

"Aww, don't feel bad, Bella. You're only human," Leon said. If Leon knew what I was feeling that meant Steve had connected all of their minds. I glared at him, but he was too busy watching everyone else to see. If I hadn't been so frustrated that I couldn't hear what they were saying, it probably would have been comical, watching the way their eyes darted around quickly to look at the speaker.

I watched them communicate silently for a while, before giving a fake, over exaggerated yawn to show how unimpressed I was.

"Oh, Bella, honey. It's late, you really need your rest," Pip said.

"What! I was kidding!" I said incredulously. My former family were sitting right in front of m, we hadn't even said anything yet, and they wanted me to sleep!

"I know, but you've had a long day, and you're recording a new album tomorrow," she said. I couldn't really get annoyed; she was just too sweet and motherly.

"Alright," I sighed.

I went to the bathroom that came off of my room and had a shower. I had just finished and stepped out to hear yelling. I went up to the bedroom door and listened closely.

"You left her, and you hurt her, and now you want her back?! You've got to be kidding me!" Mel was yelling.

"I never meant to hurt her, I was trying to protect her," Edward said, I could tell he was trying to keep calm.

"Guys, she'll hear you, keep it down," Rachel said.

"I think it would be best if we leave now," Carlisle said.

"Yes, I think everyone just needs a chance to calm down," Pip said. I could just imagine the look she was giving Mel as she said this.

I got into bed as quietly as possible. Edward had come back for me? He only left to protect me? None of this made sense. It took a long time to fall asleep after that.

**  
Sorry, it's short :( This is the last chapter that doesn't have a song in it, thankfully :) They will get a chance to talk more in depth soon; this was more just a filler/teaser chapter ;P What did you think?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry, I meant to update way earlier but I've had lots on, so, yeah :)**

**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight or the songs.

When I woke up in the morning my head was spinning. My mind was an endless cycle of answerless questions, and every plausible explanation I came up with was followed by a whole bunch of new question. I got out the special book I used for writing songs and started to let all of my feelings out through the lyrics. It helped a little, but there was still so much I didn't understand.

There was a knock at the door and Rachel poked her head in.

"Hey Bells. How are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine thanks. What about you?" I asked in return.

"Yeah, I'm good. I just wanted to let you know we'll be leaving in about an hour," she said.

"Okay, thanks Rach," I said. She smiled before closing the door.

Usually I would go out and spend the morning with my family, but today I just wanted some time alone to think.

I thought about what Edward had said last night, '_I was trying to protect her_'. How did leaving protect me? All it did was hurt me. I was left alone and heartbroken, losing all of my hopes and dreams in an instant. His words from the forest still echoed in my mind, leaving a strange depressed feeling washed over my body.

And what was he protecting me from? There weren't many things I was afraid of in this world, but the things I was scared of, only he could protect me from. He had left me to fend for my self while Laurent and Victoria had hunted me down.

Frustrated with all of my unanswered questions, I decided to get up. Hopefully recording the new album today would help distract me.

I got dressed and ate breakfast, and then we all left for the recording studio. It was a medium sized building in Seattle, nothing flashy, but apparently it had been the starting point for many famous bands. We hoped that rumour was true. It also had lots of gizmos and gadgets which I'm sure I would be awed by if I knew anything about technology.

I showed the others some of the songs I'd written this morning and they put music to them. Most bands wouldn't be able to do this, they would spend hours perfecting the music to suit the lyrics, but with a band of vampires who get everything perfect in the first shot, it was easy.

We decided to start with one of the songs I'd written a while back. We were just about to start when a guy walked into the tech room and whispered into Dan's ear. Half of the people in the room could hear him anyway, but he didn't know that.

Dan's eyebrows rose slightly at whatever he said, and he nodded his head. I saw Mel shoot him a glare out of the corner of my eye.

Just as we were about to start, who else but the Cullens walked in. Why were they making life so complicated for me? It looked as though they were about to sit through the recording.

I know I wrote all of my songs as though I was talking to Edward, but it was hard having him right here and opening up my heart for him to see. He'd always said he wanted to read my thoughts; well this was the closest he was going to get.

"Okay guys, we're all set, you can start now," one of the tech guys said.

I closed my eyes and tried to pretend the Cullens weren't there so I could sing the song properly. I heard the intro start and began singing.

__

Here's the thing

_We started out friends  
__It was cool, but it was all pretend  
__Yeah, yeah, since you been gone__You're dedicated, you took the time  
__Wasn't long 'til I called you mine  
__Yeah, yeah, since you been gone_

_And all you'd ever hear me say  
__Is how I picture me with you  
__That's all you'd ever hear me say_

_But since you been gone  
__I can breathe for the first time  
__I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah  
__Thanks to you, now I get what I want  
__Since you been gone_

_How can I put it, you put me on  
__I even fell for that stupid love song  
__Yeah, yeah, since you been gone_

_How come I'd never hear you say  
__I just wanna be with you  
__Guess you never felt that way  
__  
But since you been gone  
__I can breathe for the first time  
__I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah  
__Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want  
__Since you been gone_

_You had your chance, you blew it  
__Out of sight, out of mind  
__Shut your mouth, I just can't take it  
__Again and again and again and again _

_Since you been gone (since you been gone)  
__I can breathe for the first time  
__I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah  
__Thanks to you (thanks to you)  
__Now I get, I get what I want  
__I can breathe for the first time  
__I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah  
__Thanks to you (thanks to you)  
__Now I get (I get)  
__You should know (you should know) that I get  
__I get what I want_

_Since you been gone  
__Since you been gone  
__Since you been gone_

In a way the song was true; I was moving on with my new family and if it weren't for him I probably wouldn't be here. First he had unwillingly introduced me to his kind, and then he had left me to be fixed by the band. I would never have been able to write such goods songs without something so emotional and passionate to sing about.

I finally opened my eyes and looked at the Cullens. They looked shocked and hurt; did they really believe I could just forget about them? I might be moving forward, but I clung to the past so tightly. Every minute I spent with them was precious. Now that I think about it, why do they even care if I'd moved on? _They_ had left _me_.

We decided to do one of the songs I'd written this morning. It took a minute to set up, and then the music started.

_Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything, it felt so right  
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong  
Now I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on_

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything  
Opened up and let you in  
You made me feel alright  
For once in my life  
Now all that's left of me  
Is what I pretend to be  
So together, but so broken up inside  
'Cause I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out  
For hating you, I blame myself  
Seeing you it kills me now  
No, I don't cry on the outside  
Anymore...

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

Even though I had moved on with the band, that small part of me that clung to that past was broken deep inside of me. Sometimes at night I would cry myself to sleep, knowing that he was out there somewhere and didn't want me. I didn't look away from Edward this time, I spoke directly to him. He needed to know what he'd done to me, what he'd left behind.

"Great job guys, perfect as always, lets take 5", one of the music guys said. The rest of the band went into the tech room to talk to Dan and Pip, but I took a seat in the studio. I didn't feel like being in the centre of everything at the moment. I took out my song book, I took it with me everywhere, and started jotting down random lyrics.

**Sorry if what Bella's saying doesn't make sense; she's all over the place at the moment. And I don't actually know the names of all the music stuff, so pm/review me if you have no idea what I'm talking about :)**

**Songs were 'Since You Been Gone' and 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' by Kelly Clarkson (Lets just ignore the fact Bella has brown eyes for now) ;)**

**Important:**

**I actually have two endings to this story, and I don't know which one to use, so I'm making a poll :) I'll give you a bit of info about each ending, then you can go to my profile and vote for either ending 1, ending 2 or both :)**

_**Ending 1:**_** This was the original ending so I think it flows a bit better than the other. It's pretty much the Bella gets upset, then her and Edward have one of their deep, romantic talks and get back together :)**

_**Ending 2: **_**This ending was written because I got the new Kelly Clarkson album, so I wanted to use some of her new songs, and I ended up changing the whole end plot. It still has the Bella gets hurt/upset bit, but she also pushes Edward away. They do end up back together eventually though. It includes another Edward POV and a Rachel POV :)**

**So, now you go vote! Please, it would be a major help to me :) I'll leave the poll up until Monday, and then I'll update either Monday or Tuesday. Sorry for the really long a/n :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, I'm not going to lie, I was pretty disappointed in the response to my poll. Not many people voted, but that just means I love those people who did so much more! So, the results are in and the winner was… the second ending! Here it is :)**

**  
Disclaimer:** So, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but wait! I do own one of the songs! I know, amazing right? More info in the bottom a/n :)

I heard the door open and close, but I didn't look up to see who it was, probably just Rach or Pip asking if I was okay.

"Hi", I heard Edward's velvet voice from above me. I looked up at him in shock, but quickly averted my eyes back to my song.

"Do you mind if I join you?" he asked.

"Take a seat," I said, gesturing to another stool without looking up. He pulled the stool over and sat down so he was right in front of me.

I'm sorry," he said softly. I didn't know what to say, this was the first time we'd been close to alone in months, and he was apologising for who knows what.

"I don't understand," I said, still looking at my paper.

"Understand what?" he asked. I finally looked up.

"What you said last night, about protecting me," I said.

"You heard that, did you?" he asked with a wry smile.

"It's kind of hard not to hear Mel when she screams like that," I said, watching her with a smile. Her face was turned away, but I could see her cheek pulled up in a grin.

"When we left, I had no idea it would hurt you so much," he said after a minute.

"That still doesn't explain why you left," I winced on the last word, it still hurt to talk about this, even if he was sitting right in front of me.

"I wanted to protect you from us, from what we are, from me. You know, with everything that happened with James and at your birthday, the worst part wasn't protecting you from others, it was protecting you from me. The fact that I constantly had to struggle not to kill you, that just sitting next to you could so easily end your life, that was the worst part," he said.

"Why did it matter, I was just another human to you," I muttered, tears stinging my eyes.

"Never say that. You were never just 'another human'. You have always been, and will always be, the most important part of my existence. I love you more than anything."

I sat in shock for a minute, trying to let what he said sink in. He said he loved me, but how could he? He left me, hurt and broken. I was just a toy they used for a little while before they got bored and moved on. I didn't want to think that of the Cullens, I thought they were better than that, but I didn't see any other explanation.

"How am I supposed to believe that? You left me, telling me you didn't love me, and now you come back and I'm the most important part of your existence? It doesn't make sense. How do I know you're not just guilty for leaving?" I asked, my voice slightly angry.

"I can't prove that to you, I wish I could, but I can't. I guess the only way to do that is time. I will stay here for as long as I need to, unless you want me to leave," he seemed hurt by the thought. He stood and left, leaving me to my very confused thoughts.

I wanted to believe him, so badly it hurt, but I couldn't risk my heart being broken again, I don't think I could take it a second time.

I put my face in my hands and tried to block out everything, to just not think or feel for a little while.

Eventually I picked my book up and let the words flow freely down the page.

_  
How can you have a  
__Broken heart,  
__When you don't even have one to start with?  
__You've come back to me,  
__Baby, begging me, please  
__Did you really just expect me to forget?_

'_Coz baby you took my heart and,  
__You'll keep it forever more,  
__Too bad that there's no more forever_

_I've missed you too much,  
__And now that you're here,  
__Can I have just a little longer?  
__Hold me tight,  
__Angel, in your arms,  
__Sing me to sleep tonight._

'_Coz baby you took my heart and,  
__You'll keep it forever more,  
__Too bad that there's no more forever_

_I want you to stay,  
__But at the same time to leave.  
__I don't know what to do,  
__I'm going crazy over you.  
__Can somebody help me?_

'_Coz baby you took my heart and,  
__You'll keep it forever more,  
__Too bad that there's no more forever.  
__Too bad that there's no more forever._

I heard the door open again.

"Hey Bells. Are you alright?" Mel asked. I just nodded my head.

"What are you writing?" she asked, snatching the book from me.

"No. don't", I said. I hated people reading my songs, I preferred them to be heard; the way they're supposed to sound.

"Bella, what is this?" she asked after reading it in about 5 seconds. She sounded annoyed.

"A song?" I made it sound like a question.

"How could you do this Bella? After all he put you through, how can you even consider being with him again?"

"Mel, I just-", I tried to explain but she cut me off.

"When he left, he broke you, and we were left to pick up the pieces. Don't you care about anything we've done for you? You're willing to just throw it away?" she accused. Hurt tears sprung to my eyes; how could she think I didn't appreciate everything they'd done for me?

"Can we talk about this at home?" I asked quietly. I didn't really feel like discussing how much I should hate Edward when he was standing in the next room and could hear every word I said. She nodded her head stiffly and we turned back to the instruments. Leon, Steve and Rachel watched us with worry in their eyes. I just shook my head, telling them I was fine and we'd discuss it later.

I was actually glad to do the next song so I could distract myself, but I was worried about the Cullens, and especially Edward's, reactions.

Tear up the photographs

_But yesterday won't let go  
__Every day, every day, every minute  
__Here comes the emptiness  
__Just can't leave lonely alone  
__Every day, every day, hey hey_

_This second-chancin's really getting me down  
__You give and taking everything I dreamed about  
__It's time you let me know, let me know just let go_

_All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted  
__Was a simple way to get over you  
__All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted  
__Was an in-between to escape this desperate scene  
__Where every lie reveals the truth  
__Baby cause I all ever wanted  
__All I ever wanted was you_

_I'd rather walk alone  
__Don't wanna chase you around  
__Every day, every day, every minute  
__I'd fall a thousand times  
__Before I let you drag me down  
__Every day, every day, hey hey_

_Your new beginning was a perfect ending  
__But I keep feeling  
__we've already been here before  
__It's time you let me know, let me know just let go_

_All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted  
__Was a simple way to get over you  
__All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted  
__Was an in-between to escape this desperate scene  
__Where every lie reveals the truth  
__Baby cause I all ever wanted  
__All I ever wanted was you_

_Tell me with so many out there  
__Why I always turn to you  
__Your goodbyes tear me down every time  
__And it's so easy to see that the blame is on me_

_All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted  
__Was a simple way to get over you  
__All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted  
__Was an in-between to escape this desperate scene  
__All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted  
__Was a simple way to get over you  
__All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted  
__Was an in-between to escape this desperate scene  
__Where every lie reveals the truth  
__Baby cause I all ever wanted  
__All I ever wanted was you_

I just wanted to move on with my family, why did he have to come and complicate things now?

We finished and packed up the instruments. We were just leaving when I saw the Cullens watching me with worry. I didn't want them thinking badly of my family.

"I'll meet you guys in the car, okay?" I said.

"You sure?" Rach asked. I nodded my head and they left. I turned to the Cullens.

"Please don't think badly of Mel, she's just being protective of me," I pleaded.

"Didn't look very protective to me," Rosalie muttered.

"She just takes loyalty to the extreme, that's all", I said.

"We're just worried about you, Bella. We don't want to see them hurt you," Edward said.

"Don't you come back here and start judging my family, when all they've done is help me fix the hurt that _you_ caused," I said angrily. They flinched when I said 'my family' and looked heartbroken at the last part. I turned and walked out of the room, following the rest of the band.

I'd never gotten angry at the Cullens, and I hated it, but I wasn't about to let them come here and accuse my family of hurting me.

I got into the van and took a seat in the back next to Rachel.

"Are you alright? She asked, giving my leg a squeeze. I was so sick of hearing that question.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I assured her. I was a little worried about what would happen when we got home. I didn't want Mel to be upset with me.

Of course, because I was reluctant to reach the house, the ride went even faster. Dan parked the car and I headed to the living room. Mel sat down on a couch opposite me.

"I'm sorry about before, Bella. I didn't mean to get angry," she apologised, looking ashamed. I was surprised; I thought she'd be angry with me.

"It's okay Mel," I said.

"I'm just worried about you; I don't want to see you get hurt again. It's hard watching you forgive them when we know how much they hurt you last time," she explained.

"I don't forgive them yet. And I can't see that happening anytime soon," I tried to assure her, not exactly sure if I was telling the truth or not.

"Okay," she said with a small smile. I gave her a tight hug, and then we all went down to the band room to hang out.

**The second song was 'All I Ever Wanted' by Kelly Clarkson. The first one is called 'No More Forever' and I wrote it :D It's the first time I've ever written a song, so apologies if it doesn't really compare with the rest of the awesome songs in the story.**

**Also, there are a lot of people who favourite/alert this story, but I don't get as many reviews. Do you think we'd be able to boost the review count a bit please? I don't usually like asking for reviews, but I'm feeling a bit unloved :( What did you think? (About the chapter and my song ;) )**


	10. Chapter 10

**Oh my gosh, I found the perfect song I could have you used last chapter! It would have been great to use to describe Mel's feelings towards Bella. The song's called 'Fall For Anything' by The Script. I seriously insist you go and look up the lyrics and listen to the song! I'm sort of annoyed now; it would have made a perfect Mel POV… :(**

**  
Disclaimer:** Don't own Twilight or the song.

The others tuned their instruments and I warmed up my voice a bit. We were going to do some practice, that's what we always did to 'hang out'.

"What are we doing today, Bella?" Steve asked. They always let me pick the songs.

"Let's try something new," I said, just as the Cullens walked in. I shared a confused look with the rest of the band.

"I invited the Cullens over to watch your practice," Dan explained, watching me with cautious eyes. I could see he was trying to make things easier between our families. I sent him a small smile to show him I was fine with it.

I looked at Edward and tried to apologise with my eyes about earlier. He just shook his head minutely and knew he thought he deserved what he got.

I saw Mel watching us intently and I sighed. Trying to please her, I tried to dredge up all the angry feelings I'd ever felt towards Edward. It was hard, when he left, I never really felt angry, only hurt.

I started to sing and the others soon started playing along.

_What you see's not what you get  
With you there's just no measurement  
No way to tell what's real from what isn't there  
Your eyes they sparkle  
That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain  
You washed away the best of me  
You don't care_

You know you did it  
I'm gone  
To find someone to live for  
In this world  
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight  
Just a bridge that I gotta burn  
You were wrong  
If you think you can walk right through my door  
That is just so you  
Coming back when I've finally moved on  
I'm already gone

Sometimes shattered  
Never open  
Nothing matters  
When you're broken  
That was me whenever I was with you  
Always ending  
Always over  
Back and forth, up and down like a rollercoaster  
I am breaking  
That habit  
Today

You know you did it  
I'm gone  
To find someone to live for  
In this world  
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight  
Just a bridge that I gotta burn  
You were wrong  
If you think you can walk right through my door  
That is just so you  
Coming back when I've finally moved on  
I'm already gone

There is nothing you can say  
Sorry doesn't cut it, babe  
Take the hit and walk away  
'Cause I'm gone  
Doesn't matter what you do  
It's what you did that's hurting you  
All I needed was the truth  
Now I'm gone

What you see's not what you get  
What you see's not what you get

You know you did it  
I'm gone  
To find someone to live for  
In this world  
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight  
Just a bridge that I gotta burn  
You were wrong  
If you think you can walk right through my door  
That is just so you  
Coming back when I've finally moved on  
I'm already gone  
I'm already gone  
Oh, I'm already gone, gone, gone, gone  
Already gone  
I'm gone

Because I knew my voice so well, I could tell I sounded fake. Though the song sounded good, there wasn't any real feeling behind it.

I looked towards Edward and saw he look hurt. No, worse than that, he look like I had just stabbed him in the heart. How could he believe that I could move on without him? All these months I'd cried and hurt over him, and he still doubted that I cared about him. I wanted to tell him it was all lies, that he was the love of my life and I could never be with anyone else, but I saw Mel had a smug smirk on her face, directed towards Edward.

'_Whatever makes her happy_', I thought to myself.

"Great job guys," Dan said, trying to keep things as normal as possible. I grabbed a bottle of water and took a seat in one of the beanbags in the corner.

"You know, Bella, I haven't seen you stack it in the last, what, 24 hours? That must be a new record," Emmett laughed, sitting down next to me. I scowled at him.

"Nah, Pip taught her how to walk properly, but you should have seen some of the awesome falls when she was learning," Leon said.

"Aww, I wish I could have seen," Emmett said with mock sadness.

"You can. Hey, Steve, connect us up, please," Leon asked. Steve looked at the two of them, and then they all started laughing a moment later. I blushed furiously.

"Mel, whack doofus 1, doofus 2 and doofus 3 for me please. I would, but I'd probably break my hand," I said.

"Doofus, Bella? Now that just hurts," Leon said, pouting.

"If it makes you feel better, you can be doofus 1," I offered teasingly.

"Awesome," he said, grinning like an idiot.

"I want to be 2 then," Emmett called.

"Aww, so I'm left with 3?" Steve asked jokingly.

"That just means you're the smartest," I stage whispered, winking at him. We all laughed.

I was eternally grateful to them for distracting me with their insignificant banter. But I was also grateful to be able to joke light-heartedly with Emmett, I had missed my brother.

We spent the rest of the afternoon like that. It seemed that there were two obvious groups in our families; the people who were totally carefree and happy to be with anyone, and the people who were still awkward and kept to the sides. Leon, Steve, Rachel, Pip, Dan, Emmett, Alice, Carlisle, Esme and I all sat around, talking and joking. It was nice to be able to catch up without any awkwardness.

Edward stayed out of it, probably feeling like he didn't belong, Mel still held a bit of hostility towards the Cullens, so kept her distance, I think Rosalie hated me even more after what I'd said this morning, and Jasper, as usual, just kept to himself, out of the spotlight. I'd always thought that that was just his personality, to not join group discussions and bring attention to himself, I think the most I'd ever heard him say was a polite hello, but after my birthday incident I wondered whether it was because he just wanted to keep his distance from me. I didn't like the idea of having to exclude Jasper just so he wasn't struggling not to kill me.

We continued the afternoon like this until the Cullens had to leave and I went to bed after a quick dinner and shower.

**The song was 'Gone' by Kelly Clarkson. In my book, this was really, really short but I tried to add to it and make it longer. With the song included, I hope it's not too short. So, what did you think? Your opinion is highly valued and greatly appreciated :) Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter, by the way :)**

**P.S. Go look up the song I mentioned in the top a/n! :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Aren't you loving these fast updates? :)**

**  
Disclaimer:** Don't own Twilight or the song… again.

When I woke in the morning Mel was in the kitchen waiting for me.

"Hey Mel, what's up?" I asked.

"Hi Bella, the others were talking last night-"

"Let me guess, about me?" I interrupted.

"Yeah, sorry," she said, smiling, not sounding the slightest bit apologetic.

"Alright and what about me were you discussing?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"What I said… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you how to feel. When you write songs, we want you to write your true feelings, not what we want to hear," she explained.

"Don't worry about it. I know you mean well," I said. She gave me a thankful smile and a quick hug before exiting. I sighed as I prepared myself a bowl of cereal.

"Hey Bella," Rach said.

"Oh, hi," I said, looking up from the breakfast I realized I hadn't touched in the last fifteen minutes.

"What's wrong?" Rach asked; concern obvious on her face.

"Nothing," I said, trying to put on a fake cheery expression and tone.

"Please Bella, you are the worst liar in history, now what's wrong?" she asked again. I sighed; I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

"Everyone says to do what feels right, but I just don't know what that is anymore," I said.

"I think this so hard for you because you keep trying to please everyone at once. You're trying not to 'betray' us, while not hurting the Cullens. You just need to follow your heart. We'll support you, no matter what," she said in a soft voice.

"Thanks, I guess," I said, getting up and cleaning my dishes.

I went to my room and sat down on my bed. I thought about everything that had happened since the Cullens arrived. I knew I loved Edward and his family, but I also loved my family, and I couldn't just abandon them.

I remembered Edward's face yesterday when he thought I was trying to move on, how pained it had been. It wasn't fair that he should have to go through all of this, especially for someone like me. He deserved so much better.

I spent the whole day in my room, thankfully no one interrupted me. It wasn't until the sun was setting behind my window and my stomach growled loudly, that I realized I was starving. I came out of my room and went to the kitchen to find Pippa already serving up a plate of lasagne for me.

"Thanks Pip," I said gratefully.

"No problem Bella," she said, smiling sweetly. I scarfed down the food quickly, not realizing how hungry I really was until now. Who knew thinking could use up so much energy?

I finished my food and was heading back to my room when I passed Rachel in the hall.

"How are things going?" she asked, and I knew she was asking if I'd figured everything out yet.

"Yeah, I think I know what I'm going to do. Can you invite the Cullens over tomorrow?" I asked.

"Sure," she said. I didn't give any other explanation, and she didn't press for one.

Yes, I knew what I was going to tell Edward, the only question was, how?

*  
*

The next morning I still wasn't prepared. I lie in bed until Pip came in, telling me the Cullens would be there in half an hour. I got up and showered. When it came to picking my outfit, I stared at my closet for five full minutes, contemplating wearing my blue blouse; Edward's favourite. Eventually I ended up going with the red one and my khaki skirt.

I sat on the couch biting my nails out of nervous habit. Much too soon for my liking, there was a knock on the door and Dan went to answer it. All of the Cullens came in. Alice gave me the most heartbreaking expression. I realized she would have already seen my decision. I tried to give her an apologetic one in return, but I'm not sure she saw it. I stood up.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked Edward quietly, I was surprised my voice was so stable. He looked confused, but nodded his head anyway. I turned and headed to the back door, feeling Edward's presence follow me the whole way. The feeling of him right behind me drove me crazy, I just wanted to turn around and touch him, to make sure this amazing creature was really here, standing next to me. But I didn't, I just kept walking.

I made my way to the backyard and into the forest. I followed a trail for about 100 meters before it opened up to a small patch of grass. It was very similar to Edward's meadow. It was about the same size, maybe slightly smaller, and the tree's made a perfect circle around the edge. On a sunny day, the sun shone straight down through the trees, bringing the whole place to life. There was a small stream to the right, which led to a clear pool of water in the centre. On warmer days I liked to sit on the edge and dangle my feet into the cool water. The best part was it was far enough from the house so that the others couldn't hear me. It was my peaceful place.

I stared at the clear water. I didn't know how to tell Edward what I was thinking. The only way I knew how to do that was to sing, so I did.

_Remember all the things we wanted  
__Now all our memories, they're haunted  
__We were always meant to say goodbye  
__Even with our fists held high  
__It never would have worked out right, yeah  
__We were never meant for do or die..._

_I didn't want us to burn out  
__I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop..._

_I want you to know  
__It doesn't matter where we take this road  
__Someone's gotta go  
__And I want you to know  
__You couldn't have loved me better  
__But I want you to move on  
__So I'm already gone_

_Looking at you makes it harder  
__But I know that you'll find another  
__That doesn't always make you wanna cry  
__It started with the perfect kiss then  
__We could feel the poison set in  
__"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive_

_You know that I love you so  
__I love you enough to let you go_

_I want you to know  
__It doesn't matter where we take this road  
__Someone's gotta go  
__And I want you to know  
__You couldn't have loved me better  
__But I want you to move on  
__So I'm already gone  
__I'm already gone, already gone  
__You can't make it feel right  
__When you know that it's wrong  
__I'm already gone, already gone  
__There's no moving on  
__So I'm already gone_

_Ahhhh already gone, already gone, already gone  
__Ahhhh already gone, already gone, already gone _

_Remember all the things we wanted  
__Now all our memories, they're haunted  
__We were always meant to say goodbye..._

_I want you to know  
__It doesn't matter where we take this road  
__Someone's gotta go  
__And I want you to know  
__You couldn't have loved me better  
__But I want you to move on  
__So I'm already gone  
__I'm already gone, already gone  
__You can't make it feel right  
__When you know that it's wrong  
__I'm already gone, already gone  
__There's no moving on,  
__So I'm already gone_

"Bella, I don't understand what you're trying to say," Edward said.

"Please don't make me spell it out," I begged, it had been hard enough singing it.

"I've already made mistakes jumping to conclusions before, I'm not going to let that happen again," he said. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to look at him for the first time.

"Things aren't going to work out with us, you deserve so much better than me," I said.

"I don't want anyone but you, Bella. My life isn't worth anything without you, you are my life," he said. I shook my head, trying to dispel the thoughts so they wouldn't break down my resolve.

"This isn't going to work out between us, the whole human-vampire thing isn't right," I lied. For a fleeting second I hoped maybe he would consider changing me.

"If that's what you want," he said his face devastated. Of course he wouldn't change me; he wouldn't want to 'damage my soul'.

'_No! Of course it's not! I want you!_ ', I wanted to shout, but I just nodded my head instead. He walked towards me slowly.

"I'll always love you," he whispered, and then he kissed my forehead softly, before he was gone. I could just see the leaves on the trees settling, as though a fast wind had just blown through.

I stood there for who knows how long, unsure of what to do. I was numb, maybe I was in shock. I kept trying to tell myself I'd done the right thing, but it wasn't working very well. He'd move on without me. He lived last time, didn't he? And like he said when he left '_Our kind is easily distracted_'. He'd forget about me in no time.

The sun began to set behind the clouds and I remembered something; my family. They were probably worried about me. If nothing else mattered, they did.

I walked back to the house in a daze. When I got inside they were all sitting in the living room, waiting as I expected. When they saw me their faces filled with shock and worry.

"Bella…?" Rachel asked hesitantly. I couldn't stand to see the concern in her eyes, so I looked away and headed straight to my room without saying a word.

**  
It's like one step forward, two steps backwards with this girl! I'm really worried about this chapter, I have a feeling a lot of you are going to hate me. Please don't, I did warn you that Bella would push Edward away, but they WILL get back together. They always do :) Next chapter is Rachel and Edward POVs :) What did you think? Oh, and the song was 'Already Gone' by Kelly Clarkson :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**I got lots of 'I don't hate you's and 'I love you's for last chapter, so I'm breathing a sigh of relief haha. Thank you so, so, so much to those who favourite/alert me or this story, and especially to those who review :) You guys are the best!**

**  
Disclaimer:** I still don't own Twilight or the songs.

**  
Rachel's POV:**

I sat in the lounge room, just listening to the breathing of my family around the house. Mel was in her room, writing some new music, Steve and Leon were playing video games in the living room, Pip was cleaning the already spotless kitchen and Dan was on the internet in his study setting up gigs for us, while I sat in my room doing nothing. No one was really into what they were doing, as they were all so distracted, and I knew exactly the reason for that; Bella.

At the moment she was down in the band room. It had been a whole week since the Cullens left and Bella was still the same. She didn't speak, she spent all of her time alone and she had to be reminded to eat by Pip every few hours. We were all so worried about her, but we didn't know what we could do. We weren't exactly sure what was wrong.

She hadn't said anything since seeing Edward, and the only thing he had said when he returned was "we're leaving" to his family. They looked just as confused as we were, but Steve didn't want to invade his or Bella's privacy by linking his mind. All we knew was that he looked absolutely heart broken. Whatever had happened in the forest obviously wasn't a good thing.

So we were left feeling helpless and confused as of what to do about Bella.

She had described to us her 'zombie' months when Edward first left, how she had felt numb. I had never truly understood what she meant, but I think I was getting the idea now.

Suddenly, she took a deep breath and started singing. I was so grateful; singing was the best way Bella knew how to express her feelings.

_If anyone asks,  
I'll tell them we both just moved on  
When people all stare  
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk  
Whenever I see you,  
I'll swallow my pride  
and bite my tongue  
Pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong_

_Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry_

_If anyone asks,  
I'll tell them we just grew apart  
Yeah what do I care  
If they believe me or not  
Whenever I feel  
Your memory is breaking my heart  
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong_

_Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry_

_I'm talking in circles  
I'm lying, they know it  
Why won't this just all go away_

_Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry  
Cry_

I felt the familiar sensation of five other presences on the edges of my mind and I knew Steve was linking us.

'_Oh dear_', Pip thought sadly. I had never heard Bella sound so upset and desperate in her songs; it only made us all the more worried.

'_What are we supposed to do?_' Mel asked. I could see she felt guilty, thinking she had made everything harder on Bella.

'_Should we talk to her?_' Steve asked.

'_Yeah, I'll do it_', I thought.

I felt the connection break and I went downstairs. Bella was just standing there staring off into space.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked. She didn't answer, I wasn't sure she even heard me.

"Please Bella, we want to help," I pleaded, causing her to finally look at me.

"Why did I push him away? Why did I make him leave?" she asked; her eyes full of questions and regret. I pulled her into a comforting hug and she began sobbing into my shoulder. I was actually relieved; after a week of nothing, she was finally showing some emotion.

"It's alright Bella, it's going to be okay," I tried to soothe her. She looked so vulnerable. She had seen so much pain in the past year or so, it wasn't fair that she had to deal with this now.

After she quieted a bit I continued, "We could always go and get them, bring them back," I offered. She shook her head.

"That wouldn't be fair on him, I can't push him away and then drag him back," she said. So she had pushed him away? Why would she do that? It was obvious they loved each other and couldn't live without one another. I didn't want to upset her again, so I didn't ask.

"And what about you?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter," in other words, _I_ don't matter. How could she be so selfless?

She pulled away from me and went back upstairs. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I had to help Bella somehow.

**  
Edward's POV:**

I stared out of my bedroom window, watching the snow fall softly outside, but not really seeing it at all. All I could think about was my Bella. No, she wasn't _my_ Bella anymore, she didn't want me. I had gotten so many mixed emotions from her over those few days I saw her, but it had all ended with me leaving, again. At least this time I had gotten the chance to tell her I loved her.

I had thought during that song she sung in the forest, that she loved me, but there was another reason to want me gone. But then I remembered her words after,

'_The whole human-vampire thing isn't right_'.

No, of course it wasn't, and she had finally realized that I was a monster, and she deserved so much better. She deserved to find another human to be with, someone she could marry and kids with and grow old with. Just the thought of it caused my heart to twist with pain, but I ignored it. As long as Bella was happy, I could deal with anything.

I heard Carlisle arrive home to the Denali house we were staying in for the time being. His thoughts were full of confusion, worry, concern and… Bella! Had something happened to her?

I was downstairs in a second.

"What is it Carlisle?" I asked, my voice tense, which caused the rest of the family to join us.

"I received this at work today," he said, holding up an envelope. On it was written Carlisle's name and the name and address of the hospital he worked at. It was written in a neat, feminine script, and a familiar scent came off of it. It was the scent of one of Bella's family; Rachel. I liked Rachel, she was sweet and caring and looked after Bella, but it hurt to remember Bella had a new family.

"I thought I'd wait to open it with the whole family," Carlisle explained, before carefully pulling out a letter, the scent even stronger now. He held it out so we could all read.

_To the Cullen family,_

_I'm sorry to bother you like this, with such unpleasant information, but I thought it would be important for you to know._

_Bella hasn't been coping very well lately, since you left she's been very closed off and upset. None of us are really sure why or what to do, all we can really see is that she misses you._

_I've sent you a copy of a song we recorded a few days ago, that, of course, Bella wrote. She didn't want it released because she didn't want you to feel obliged to return, but I knew you would want to know._

_I'm not writing to ask you to return if you don't wish to, but I can see how much you all love her and how much she means to you all, and I thought you would want the opportunity to help._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Rachel._

We pulled the CD out and I quickly raced upstairs to my room to place it in my stereo. The whole house was silent except for Bella's melodic voice.

_  
I can tell  
__I can tell how much you hate this  
__And deep down inside you know it's killing me  
__I can call  
__Wish you well and try to change this  
__But nothing I can say would change anything_

_Where were my senses?  
__I left them all behind  
__Why did I turn away?  
__Away_

_I wish I could save you  
__I wish I could say to you  
__I'm not going nowhere  
__I wish I could say to you  
__It's gonna be alright  
__It's gonna be alright_

_Didn't mean  
__Didn't mean to leave you stranded  
__Went away cause I didn't want to face the truth  
__Reaching out  
__Reach for me  
__Empty handed  
__You don't know if I care  
__You're trying to find the proof_

_There were times I'd wonder  
__Could I have eased your pain?  
__Why did I turn away?  
__Away_

_I wish I could save you  
__I wish I could say to you  
__I'm not going nowhere  
__I wish I could say to you  
__It's gonna be alright  
__It's gonna be alright  
__It's gonna be alright  
__Save you  
__It's gonna be alright  
__I wish I could say to you _

_We  
__Can pretend nothing's changed  
__Pretend it's all the same  
__And there will be no pain  
__Tonight_

_It's gonna be alright  
__It's gonna be alright  
__It's gonna be alright  
__Save you  
__It's gonna be alright  
__I wish I could say to you  
__I'm not going nowhere  
__I wish I could say to you  
__It's gonna be alright  
__It's gonna be alright  
__It's gonna be alright  
__Save you  
__I wish I could say to you  
__It's gonna be alright_

I had never heard her sound so desperate. I hated it, seeing how pained and upset she was, I just wanted to see her and make it all go away, and that was exactly what I was going to do.

"I'm going back," I stated determinedly, joining my family in the living room.

"We're going back, you mean," Alice added. I nodded my head, already on my way out the front door.

I quickly hopped into my Volvo. I would have gladly run, but we had to keep up our façade. That was what I hated about acting human sometimes. Alice and Jasper joined me in my car, while Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie took Carlisle's Mercedes.

I pushed the Volvo as fast as it would go. I had always been proud of the speed of my car, but now I was impatient trying to force it to go faster. Jasper was trying to calm me, but it wasn't really working. Alice turned on the radio, trying to cover up the tense atmosphere. A familiar song came on.

_  
It's been a while since the two of us talked  
About a week since the day you walked  
Knowing things would never be the same  
With your empty heart and mine full of pain  
So explain to me, how it came to this  
Take it back to the night we kissed  
It was Dublin city on a Friday night  
You were vodkas and coke, I was Guinness all night_

_We were sitting with our backs against the world  
Saying things that we thought but never heard  
Who would have thought it would end up like this?  
Where everything we talked about is gone  
And the only chance we have of moving on_

_Is try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong_

_Before the worst, before we mend  
Before our hearts decide  
It's time to love again  
Before too late, before too long  
Lets try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong_

_There was a time, that we'd stay up all night  
Best friends talking till the daylight  
Took the joys alongside the pain  
With not much to loose, but so much to gain  
Are hearing me? Cause I don't wanna miss,  
Set you a drift on memory bliss  
It was Grafton Street on a rainy night  
I was down on one knee and you where mine for life_

_We we're thinking we would never be apart  
With your name tattooed across my heart  
Who would have thought it would end up like this?  
Where everything we talked about is gone  
And the only chance we have of moving on_

_Is try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong_

_Before the worst, before we mend  
Before our hearts decide  
It's time to love again  
Before too late, before too long  
Lets try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong_

_If the clouds don't clear  
Then well rise above it, well rise above it  
Heavens gate is so near  
Come walk with me through  
Just like we use to, just like we use to_

_Lets take it back  
Before it all went wrong_

_Before the worst, before we mend  
Before our hearts decide  
It's time to love again  
Before too late, before too long  
Lets try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong_

That was exactly how I felt. I just wish we could take everything back to the way it was a year ago, back when we were at Forks High and everything was simple. Well, it wasn't simple, things were never simple between Bella and I, but at least there wasn't all of this heart break. I hated having Bella go through this, but I was going to change that, I was going to fix this.

**  
Whoo, go determined Edward. Three songs in this one! :) The first and second were 'Cry' and 'Save You' by Kelly Clarkson, and the third was 'Before The Worst' by The Script. **

**Yay, we are nearing the part you've all been waiting for! Next chapter's the reunion :D Remember; more reviews equals faster update ;) **


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews from last chapter, you guys are so absolutely, fantastically amazing! Here's the one you've all been waiting for!**

**  
Disclaimer:** Don't own Twilight or the song.

**  
Bella's POV:**

I stopped and looked around, not even realizing where I had been walking to. I was in my peaceful place, but it wasn't peaceful anymore, it only held reminders of my mistake.

I let a few tears fall thinking about Edward; I didn't like crying around my family because I knew it hurt them, so this was the only opportunity I would get to show some of my pain.

I was so stupid. I should never have said those things to him. I wish I could see him to tell him how much I loved him; I wish I had just one more chance. But I didn't deserve one. All I did was hurt the ones I loved, it was best that they all stayed away.

The first song I had ever written was about how I believed it wasn't impossible for us to work, but then I went and said '_this whole human-vampire thing isn't right_'. Isn't_ right_? I was such a hypocrite.

I stood staring at the sparkling water for a long time, but it eventually reminded me of how _he_ sparkled in the sun and I turned away.

"Bella," a voice called. I spun around, unable to believe my ears.

"Edward?" I asked in a shaky voice. He stood there, just inside of the meadow, looking astoundingly perfect as always. I couldn't help myself, I ran to him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. I couldn't believe he was really here.

"Oh Edward, I'm sorry- I just- I couldn't-," I sobbed into his shoulder, unable to make a coherent sentence.

"Shh, Bella, calm down," he soothed me in his velvet voice.

"I'm sorry, I was so scared and confused, I didn't know what to do," I blubbered.

"It's okay Bella," he said softly.

"No it's not! I hurt you! I pushed you away and lied to you. I always said I loved you, and then I acted the total opposite," I cried. He pulled me back so he could see my face and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"I believe this whole mess started when I did the same thing," he said in a soft voice.

"I missed you," I whispered. He pulled me into his chest and buried his face in my hair.

"I missed you too, but I'm here now," he murmured.

"Will you-" I started, but then stopped myself. I had no right to ask him that.

"Will I what?" he asked, pulling back slightly to give me a curious look.

"Nothing," I mumbled.

"Bella," he groaned. He hated it when I kept my thoughts to myself.

"Are you going to stay?" I asked so quietly only a vampire would be able to hear. I was scared about his answer; what if he hated me after all I'd done to him?

"Of course, I love you, and I'm going to stay, even if you say you don't want me," he smiled, lightening the mood.

"I love you too," I said before I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. He complied, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into him.

*

*

There was a knock at the door and I went to answer it, already knowing who it was. The whole Cullen family stood there, their eyes a light golden-butterscotch after their hunt.

"Edward!" I cried, running into his arms and hugging him tightly. He chuckled.

"Did you miss me?" he asked, his tone teasing. I nodded my head; he didn't know how much it hurt me when he was away, even if it was only for a day or two.

He took my hand in his and I led him down to the band room. This was our usual hang out spot.

"Hey guys," the band said as we entered.

"Hey, Bella," Steve called me.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"This is a really good song," he said, reading a sheet of paper. Dang it, I must have left my song book out.

I walked over to him and read over his shoulder.

"Yeah, but it's not really useful now, is it?" I asked. The song was one I'd written before I got back with Edward, so it didn't really apply any more.

"Not necessarily. If you changed these lyrics and gave it a faster beat…" Steve started making suggestions. Edward chuckled and went to sit with his family, while I got distracted by the song.

Steve sat down at his drums and started playing. It was faster and more up-beat than usual. The others got their instruments and played along, while I started singing the new lyrics.

_  
Hearts break too fast  
__When their sentimental  
__Won't stay, won't last  
__When it's love at first sight  
__So why are my convictions  
__Blinded by your spotlight_

_Can't breathe, can't sleep  
__Need some medication  
__I've kiss goodbye to my reservations  
__I know there's other fish out in the sea  
__Not for me_

_I want you  
__If I can't have you  
__Then I don't want anyone  
__I don't want anyone  
__If I can't have you  
__Then only damage has been done  
__Baby  
__We can break these rules  
__If you wanna have some fun  
__If you wanna have some fun  
__Think of all the love that you will lose (lose)  
__If I can't have you (If I can't have you)  
__If I can't have you (If I can't have you)_

_Heart beat, cold sweat  
__Thoughts slippin' under  
__Can't fight, no threat  
__Cause there's just no use  
__One look no hesitation  
__I'm slippin' into you_

_Forgive these eyes  
__These lips you're tasting  
__No time to waste on an invitation  
__My shame, my self control  
__Has suffered enough  
__And everybody wants to be loved_

_If I can't have you  
__Then I don't want anyone  
__I don't want anyone  
__If I can't have you  
__Then only damage has been done  
__Baby  
__We can break these rules  
__If you wanna have some fun  
__If you wanna have some fun  
__Think of all the love that you will lose  
__If I can't have you (If I can't have you)  
__If I can't have you (If I can't have you)_

_I haven't seen the best that love has had to offer  
__They say perfection's always right around the corner  
__Could be true  
__But if I can't have you_

_If I can't have you  
__Then I don't want anyone  
__I don't want anyone  
__If I can't have you  
__Then only damage has been done  
__Baby  
__We can break these rules  
__If you wanna have some fun  
__If you wanna have some fun  
__Think of all the love that you will lose  
__If I can't have you (If I can't have you)  
__If I can't have you (If I can't have you)  
__If I cant have you (if I cant have you)  
__Think of all the love that you will lose (lose)  
__If I can't have you_

While the message in the song was still the same, the new lyrics and beat made it more fun and laid-back. Half way through the song Pip started dancing; something she hadn't been able to do to any of my songs before.

"That was awesome!" Leon cried when the song was finished. We all laughed in agreement.

"Congratulations on your next number-one hit guys," Alice said. We all gave her confused and curious looks, but she only tapped her head with her finger.

"Oh my gosh! Are you serious?!" Mel yelled. Wow, sure we'd been in the top 20 before, but a number-one hit? That was just amazing!

Mel, Rach and I were jumping up and down squealing, while Leon and Steve shared high-fives.

I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist from behind.

"Congratulations," Edward whispered in my ear. I turned to see him smiling gloriously, and I smiled in return.

I was so happy; I had my music, I had my families, and most importantly, I had my Edward. Life was perfect.

**  
In case you didn't get it, Alice had a vision of the song becoming a number-one hit. The song was 'If I Can't Have You' by Kelly Clarkson. I was so glad to hear that I've turned some of you into Kelly Clarkson fans; I think she's awesome :)**

***Gasp* we've come to the end of **_**Music; my release**_**! Thank you so much to all of you that have supported this story, it means everything to me! I'm considering adding the first ending that I mentioned before, review and let me know if you want me to. I probably should have mentioned before; I do accept anonymous reviews, which means you don't have to have a FanFiction account to review :) Please do, I love your input.**

**Thanks again guys! Lots of love,**

**warnesy-01 :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Haha okay heaps of you didn't want the story to end and I just love it so much, so I'm going to continue :) Sorry I couldn't update sooner, school started again this week. Unlike those of you on the opposite side of the world, we Aussies are in the middle of winter, so we only had our two week break :(**

**This starts back at chapter 9, but has a different ending. Most of this chapter is the same, so you will be able to refresh your memories on what's happening :) Thanks again guys for all the support!**

**  
Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but I own the song :)

I heard the door open and close, but I didn't look up to see who it was, probably just Rach or Pip asking if I was okay.

"Hi", I heard Edward's velvet voice from above me. I looked up at him in shock, but quickly averted my eyes back to my song.

"Do you mind if I join you?" he asked.

"Take a seat," I said, gesturing to another stool without looking up. He pulled the stool over and sat down so he was right in front of me.

I'm sorry," he said softly. I didn't know what to say, this was the first time we'd been close to alone in months, and he was apologising for who knows what.

"I don't understand," I said, still looking at my paper.

"Understand what?" he asked. I finally looked up.

"What you said last night, about protecting me," I said.

"You heard that, did you?" he asked with a wry smile.

"It's kind of hard not to hear Mel when she screams like that," I said, watching her with a smile. Her face was turned away, but I could see her cheek pulled up in a grin.

"When we left, I had no idea it would hurt you so much," he said after a minute.

"That still doesn't explain why you left," I winced on the last word, it still hurt to talk about this, even if he was sitting right in front of me.

"I wanted to protect you from us, from what we are, from me. You know, with everything that happened with James and at your birthday, the worst part wasn't protecting you from others, it was protecting you from me. The fact that I constantly had to struggle not to kill you, that just sitting next to you could so easily end your life, that was the worst part," he said.

"Why did it matter, I was just another human to you," I muttered, tears stinging my eyes.

"Never say that. You were never just 'another human'. You have always been, and will always be, the most important part of my existence. I love you more than anything."

I sat in shock for a minute, trying to let what he said sink in. He said he loved me, but how could he? He left me, hurt and broken. I was just a toy they used for a little while before they got bored and moved on. I didn't want to think that of the Cullens, I thought they were better than that, but I didn't see any other explanation.

"How am I supposed to believe that? You left me, telling me you didn't love me, and now you come back and I'm the most important part of your existence? It doesn't make sense. How do I know you're not just guilty for leaving?" I asked, my voice slightly angry.

"I can't prove that to you, I wish I could, but I can't. I guess the only way to do that is time. I will stay here for as long as I need to, unless you want me to leave," he seemed hurt by the thought. He stood and left, leaving me to my very confused thoughts.

I wanted to believe him, so badly it hurt, but I couldn't risk my heart being broken again, I don't think I could take it a second time.

I put my face in my hands and tried to block out everything, to just not think or feel for a little while.

Eventually I picked my book up and let the words flow freely down the page.

_  
How can you have a  
__Broken heart,  
__When you don't even have one to start with?  
__You've come back to me,  
__Baby, begging me, please  
__Did you really just expect me to forget?_

'_Coz baby you took my heart and,  
__You'll keep it forever more,  
__Too bad that there's no more forever_

_I've missed you too much,  
__And now that you're here,  
__Can I have just a little longer?  
__Hold me tight,  
__Angel, in your arms,  
__Sing me to sleep tonight._

'_Coz baby you took my heart and,  
__You'll keep it forever more,  
__Too bad that there's no more forever_

_I want you to stay,  
__But at the same time to leave.  
__I don't know what to do,  
__I'm going crazy over you.  
__Can somebody help me?_

'_Coz baby you took my heart and,  
__You'll keep it forever more,  
__Too bad that there's no more forever.  
__Too bad that there's no more forever._

I heard the door open again.

"Hey Bells. Are you alright?" Mel asked. I just nodded my head.

"What are you writing?" she asked, snatching the book from me.

"No. don't", I said. I hated people reading my songs, I preferred them to be heard; the way they're supposed to sound.

"Bella, what is this?" she asked after reading it in about 5 seconds. She sounded annoyed.

"A song?" I made it sound like a question.

"How could you do this Bella? After all he put you through, how can you even consider being with him again?"

"Mel, I just-", I tried to explain but she cut me off.

"When he left, he broke you, and we were left to pick up the pieces. Don't you care about anything we've done for you? You're willing to just throw it away?" she accused. Hurt tears sprung to my eyes; how could she think I didn't appreciate everything they'd done for me?

"That's enough, leave her alone," Edward said, coming to stand in front of me, blocking the space between Mel and I. Leon was behind Mel trying to calm her.

"This doesn't concern you. If it weren't for you, she wouldn't be in this mess," Mel said acidly.

I couldn't take it anymore. I turned and ran from the room. I barged my way through the rest of my family and the Cullens. I felt Dan place something in my hand as I passed him. I heard a few people call after me, and I knew they could have easily stopped me, so I was thankful that no one followed. I just needed to be alone.

When I got outside I looked at what Dan had given me; the keys to the car. I would have to thank him later. I got into the car and drove off; I knew exactly where I needed to be right now.

**  
Not much new in this chapter, sorry. Again, that's the song I wrote :) Thank you so much to those of you who have given me feedback on it, it's made my day to hear what you think :) **

**Those of you who like Edward and Bella to get back together quickly will like this ending more; next chapter's the reunion. Quick, I know, but there will be another two chapters after that, don't worry ;)**

**Oh my gosh, guys! I've reached over 90 reviews! I've never even gotten close to that! You guys have no idea how happy you make me!!! Thank you so, so, so much!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I've been quite busy lately so sorry if the updates aren't so frequent. On with the chapter…**

**  
Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and Kelly Clarkson owns the song.

When I got back to the house I parked the car and went around to the backyard. I walked into the forest and followed a trail for about 100 meters before it opened up to a small patch of grass. It was very similar to Edward's meadow. It was about the same size, maybe slightly smaller, and the tree's made a perfect circle around the edge. On a sunny day, the sun shone straight down through the trees, bringing the whole place to life. There was a small stream to the right, which led to a clear pool of water in the centre. On warmer days I liked to sit on the edge and dangle my feet into the cool water. It was my peaceful place. I came here to think, write songs and sometimes just clear me head. I couldn't see that happening today, so I would just have to make do with thinking.

Edward said he loved me, and I knew I loved him, but could I risk my heart being broken again? And what would I do about Mel? I knew she meant well so I couldn't be upset with her, but I didn't want to hurt either of my families.

The perfect song came to me then, but I had left my book back at the studio. I felt lost without it, it was the only way I could sort my thoughts and feelings. I guess I would just have to make do with singing out loud.

_  
He drowns in his dreams  
An exquisite extreme I know  
He's as damned as he seems  
And more heaven than a heart could hold  
And if I try to save him  
My whole world could cave in  
It just ain't right  
It just ain't right_

Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth  
As strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with  
More damage than a soul should see  
And do I try to change him?  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold on tight  
Hold on tight

Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical  
But he's only happy hysterical  
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle  
Waited so long  
So long

He's soft to the touch  
But frayed at the end he breaks  
He's never enough  
And still he's more than I can take

Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster

That was my life exactly. Edward was the very best and worst part of my life. He was beautiful, but being with him could be such a disaster. What do I do?

"Nice song," I spun around to see Rach walking in.

"Thanks," I sighed as I sat down on the grass.

"Mel says sorry, she feels really bad," she said.

"I know she doesn't mean it, she just takes loyalty to the extreme," I said.

"Yeah," Rach said as she sunk down next to me.

"What do I do, Rach?" I muttered hopelessly.

"I don't know, what does your heart say?" she asked.

"I love Edward, I always have and I always will, but I'm scared. What if he leaves again?" I asked her the same question I'd been asking myself all day.

"That won't happen," It wasn't Rach who answered, but Edward. He walked slowly in from the trees, the same way Rach had come. Rach very subtly got up and left, giving us some privacy.

"You have no idea how much it tore me apart to be away from you. I was constantly fighting the urge to come back to you, because I thought it would be selfish to do so," he continued.

"I think I might have some idea," I said, referring to his first statement. He shook his head with a sad smile as he took Rachel's place next to me.

"You tried. You got up everyday and lived your life for Charlie's sake. Then you found a way to deal with the pain. I was hopeless; I more or less curled up into a ball and shied away from life. I couldn't even look at my family, I barely ever hunted; I let the pain overcome me. You were much stronger than I was," he said. I smiled at the thought of being stronger than Edward.

"I know it's hard for you to trust me, but I am here for you, and I will be for as long as you want me," he said.

"Why do you keep saying that? Do you really think I'm going to send you away?" I asked incredulously.

"Maybe, you might hate me," he said, shrugging his shoulders to feign nonchalance, but I could see the hurt and worry in his eyes. I moved so I was sitting directly in front of him, on my knees so I was at the same height as him.

"Edward, I love you. I trust you. I want to spend the rest of eternity with you," I said with total sincerity before mashing my lips to his. Usually he was very strict about his boundaries, but this time was different. I started the kiss softly, but after a while he wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me closer and one hand in my hair, making the kiss more urgent. I complied, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck and threw myself into the kiss. We stayed like that for a long time before he pulled away, chuckling.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let that go so far," he said.

"I didn't mind," I said, breathless. He smiled my favourite crooked grin before pulling me up and wrapping his arms tightly around my waist.

"I love you," he leant down and whispered in my ear.

"I love you too," I whispered back.

**  
Aww, yay they're together again! I have decided I want to do an Edward POV of this chapter, because there's some semi-important stuff that Bella doesn't see at the start, and because I like doing the lovey-dovey stuff in Edward's POV :) So with that planned, there should be three more chapters left of the story. Could you pretty please grace me with a review? I'd love you for it :D**


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay Edward's POV is up! This starts in the recording studio just after he's finished talking to Bella.**

**  
Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight characters; I just created my own and made them form a band to sing Kelly Clarkson songs :P

**  
Edward's POV:**

I walked out of the recording room, giving Bella a chance to think about what I'd said. I knew it was going to be a long time before she trusted me again, maybe never, but I couldn't give up. I deserved everything she threw at me at the moment; in fact I deserved much worse. I had expected her to yell and scream at me, to tell me she hated me, to say she never wanted to see me again, and I would have accepted that, because it was what I deserved. But once again she baffled me. Of course she was hurt, I could see and understand that, but she was never angry. It was like she blamed herself, but there was no way she could. I had been the one to make the stupid decision to leave her, to ruin everything we had and break her heart, there was no way it could be any of her fault.

I watched her put her hands in her face; whether out of frustration or confusion I didn't know, but I knew either way she was struggling. As much as it pained me to watch her suffer, I knew that she needed time to think and make her own decisions.

I guess her family- I cringed at the words- didn't realize this, as one of the girls, Mel, entered the room. Bella had just finished writing in a book and I gathered from the thoughts of the rest of them that this was her song book, which she used to help sort her thoughts and feelings into songs.

"Hey Bells. Are you alright?" Mel asked. Bella only nodded her head in response.

"What are you writing?" she asked, snatching the book from Bella. I had to hold back a growl at that. I was brought up in the early 1900's, and back then respect for a lady was very important, so it was a personal insult for her to be so rude. Not to mention she was being rude to the most wonderful creature I had ever met, who deserved utmost respect.

"No, don't", Bella said. She obviously had a problem with her reading the song and reached her hand out, as though to snatch it back.

"Bella, what is this?" Mel asked, sounding annoyed and frustrated, her thoughts gave the same impression.

"A song?" Bella answered hesitantly, as though she were unsure she had picked the right answer.

"How could you do this Bella? After all he put you through, how can you even consider being with him again?" If I had been human, my heart beat would have sped up tremendously at that. Was she really considering being with me again? Could she really forgive me?

"Mel, I just-", Bella tried to explain but Mel interrupted her, again making me want to growl.

"When he left, he broke you, and we were left to pick up the pieces. Don't you care about anything we've done for you? You're willing to just throw it away?" she accused. It hurt to hear what I had done to Bella confirmed out loud. I had already seen the Bella I left behind in their minds, and that wasn't even the worst of it. They hadn't met Bella until after she started writing music, I didn't even want to imagine what she would have been like before she used songs as an escape.

I saw Bella's eyes fill with tears at Mel's words. I knew Bella, and knew that when she loved someone, she loved them deeply and whole-heartedly, so to be accused of not caring about them would hit a nerve. I only wish I had known that before I started this whole mess, then I would never have underestimated her. Because that's what I did, I underestimated her love for me, thinking she could never feel the same way and that she would just move on; how wrong I was.

After seeing Bella's tears I couldn't take it anymore. I sped into the room and stood between Bella and Mel, so Bella was hidden safely behind me.

"That's enough," I said sternly towards Mel. Bella ran out of the room, taking us all by surprise. She struggled her way through the rest of my family and the band, before making her way out of the studio. I called her name and was starting to follow her when Carlisle stopped me.

"Just give her some time Edward," he said.

"No, Carlisle. I caused this mess, I'm the one who keeps stuffing up, I can't just sit back and watch as she gets hurt," I said defiantly.

"I'll go look for her," Rachel said.

"I'll come with you," I added. She looked hesitant, but agreed after the comment I'd just made to Carlisle. We were about to leave when we were stopped by Mel. I was expecting her to be annoyed and complain about me coming along, but her word's surprised me.

"Will you tell her I'm sorry, that I didn't mean to lose my temper?" she asked, her face regretful and apologetic.

"Of course, but you don't need to worry. It's Bella, she won't hold it against you," Rachel said with a smile. I couldn't argue with that, Bella was the most selfless, forgiving person I had ever met.

We ran out of the building to find the van the band used to travel missing.

"We should probably run, it will be faster," Rachel said. I nodded my head in agreement and we casually made our way to the forest until we were under the cover of the trees and we could run. We ran in silence for a while, and I noticed something strange about Rachel's thought pattern.

"You don't hate me?" I queried. For the past couple of days I had dealt with her families thoughts filled with dislike towards me, some worse than others, but Rachel's thoughts held no anger or hostility toward me. She sighed.

"No one hates you Edward, we're all just worried about Bella. It's hard for the others to just accept you here, even though Bella does," she explained. I raised my eyebrows at the last comment and she chuckled.

"I know it might not seem like it sometimes, but Bella is very happy to have you back. She's missed all of you more than you could possibly know," she continued.

"So what makes you any different? Why aren't you angry with me?" I asked.

"Well, I was at first, but I could see how much you love her, and how much she loves you. I also see the regret on your face every time you see Bella in pain. I know you didn't mean her any harm, and right now all I care about is Bella's happiness, and I know you play a big part in that," she concluded. There was silence for a while.

"Thank you Rachel," I said softly.

"No problem," she said with a small smile.

"So where exactly are we going?" I asked. I had just realized that I had no idea where Bella was, and I had no scent to follow, so I had been following Rachel the whole time.

"There's a place out behind our house that Bella likes to go to when she wants to be alone to think. I have a strong feeling that's where she'll be," she answered. We soon reached an area of forest which was thick with the scents of Bella's family, so we must have been near the house. As we got closer I heard Bella's soft voice singing, which had newly become one of my favourite sounds.

_  
He drowns in his dreams  
An exquisite extreme I know  
He's as damned as he seems  
And more heaven than a heart could hold  
And if I try to save him  
My whole world could cave in  
It just ain't right  
It just ain't right_

_Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster_

_He's magic and myth  
As strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with  
More damage than a soul should see  
And do I try to change him?  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold on tight  
Hold on tight_

_Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster_

_I'm longing for love and the logical  
But he's only happy hysterical  
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle  
Waited so long  
So long_

_He's soft to the touch  
But frayed at the end he breaks  
He's never enough  
And still he's more than I can take_

_Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster_

_He's beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster_

Her voice was soft as she sung, full of love and confusion. I could see now why she struggled with my being here; whatever her feelings where for me, they seemed to clash with what her family wanted from her. It was such a Bella thing to do; put her own happiness in second place to try and please everyone else first. I was about to take a step out into the small clearing we had reached, but Rachel put an arm out to stop me.

"Let me talk to her first," she whispered so Bella wouldn't hear. She saw I was about to argue so continued on quickly.

"You can speak to her soon, but right now I think she just needs an outsider's opinion," she explained. I could what she was saying; if I went in there, Bella would just say whatever she thought would make me happy. Rachel took a step out as I watched, hidden in the trees.

"Nice song," Rachel said, causing Bella to spin around in surprise, her face full of shock. It quickly passed as she realized who it was.

"Thanks," she sighed as she dropped down to sit in the grass.

"Mel says sorry, she feels really bad," Rachel passed on the message.

"I know she doesn't mean it, she just takes loyalty to the extreme," Bella said, exactly as we had predicted.

"Yeah," Rachel said as she sat down in the grass next to her.

"What do I do, Rach?" Bella muttered. I hated the fact that she sounded so helpless and lost, and I hated myself for being the cause of it even more.

"I don't know, what does your heart say?" Rachel asked. I could see in her mind she was trying not to tell Bella what to do, just letting her make her own decisions.

"I love Edward, I always have and I always will, but I'm scared. What if he leaves again?" Bella asked, worry filling her voice. My heart soared at those words '_I love Edward_', they were exactly what I had needed to hear for so long, but my heart ached at her last words. Of course it made sense for her to be scared and to not trust me, but I needed her to see that I would never, _could_ never, leave her again. Before I could stop myself I was stepping out into the open.

"That won't happen," I said softly, but also with conviction. I knew there was no way I could ever leave this beautiful creature again, all I needed to do was prove it to her. Rachel stood and quietly left, giving us some much needed privacy. I made a mental note to thank her later.

"You have no idea how much it tore me apart to be away from you. I was constantly fighting the urge to come back to you, because I thought it would be selfish to do so," I continued.

"I think I might have some idea," she said, referring to my first statement, '_You have no idea how much it tore me apart to be away from you_'. I shook my head as I took the newly vacant seat next to her, she had no idea how much better she fared.

"You tried. You got up everyday and lived your life for Charlie's sake. Then you found a way to deal with the pain. I was hopeless; I more or less curled up into a ball and shied away from life. I couldn't even look at my family, I barely ever hunted; I let the pain overcome me. You were much stronger than I was," I said. She smiled in response to something I said, and for the thousandth time since I had met her, I longed to read her mind to know what she was thinking.

"I know it's hard for you to trust me, but I am here for you, and I will be for as long as you want me," I continued softly, not wanting to scare her away with my declaration.

"Why do you keep saying that? Do you really think I'm going to send you away?" she asked, her voice and face full of disbelief, shock and a little hurt.

"Maybe, you might hate me," I said, shrugging my shoulders and putting on my poker face to hide my true worry. The thought of that had been taring at my heart ever since I had first seen her again, and she had blamed me for leaving her in one of her songs. She sat up on her knees directly in front of me in an attempt to reach my eye level.

"Edward, I love you. I trust you. I want to spend the rest of eternity with you," she said, her voice full of love and devotion, before she gently brought her lips to mine. The sensation of her soft, warm lips on mine drove me crazy and I couldn't help deepening the kiss, trying to make up for all the time I had lost with her. Usually a vampire could keep their mind on many tasks at once and still concentrate well, but with Bella she completely overrode my senses and made it impossible to keep a coherent thought about anything else. But I had to force myself to think about her safety. She was the most important thing in the world and nothing was worth jeopardising her life. I pulled away, already having let the kiss go much farther than I would usually allow.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let that go so far," I said. I couldn't help but chuckle at the effect she had over me, I would never have imagined it possible.

"I didn't mind," she said, breathless. I loved the fact that only I could have that affect on her, that I could dazzle her and leave her breathless. I smiled and pulled her up, quickly wrapping my arms around her warm waist to stop any space forming between us.

"I love you," I leant down and whispered in her ear.

"I love you too," she whispered back, and with that, my heart exploded with joy.

**  
Awww :) Wow, that was my longest chapter ever! I hope you liked it, now I have to go and re-read it to check for mistakes… *grumbles*. ****This is not the end!**** There are still two more chapters to go, so stay tuned haha :D Could I please be honoured with a review?? *puppy dog eyes* :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Wow, guys! Over 110 reviews! You're blowing my mind here (which is a good thing, by the way) :) Please keep it up! Thank you all so much!!! :D**

**  
Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. No songs in this chapter :(

**  
Bella's POV:**

"What are you doing?" Edward asked as he walked in with a coke for me. I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly.

"Nothing much, just writing," I said.

"As always," he said, rolling his eyes and smirking.

"That's why we're here," I replied, smiling broadly.

We had finally started our tour; we were now on one of the rides between cities. With the Cullens coming along, we needed two tour buses to fit us all. Thankfully, I was the only one who slept, because there was only one small bedroom at the back of each bus, which is where I was now. The buses also had a TV, a small couch, a mini table and a fridge full of food each, which would most likely not get eaten.

"Am I allowed to see?" Edward asked as he came and lay down on his side behind me. I leaned back into his chest, propping my knee up to use as a desk to lean on.

"Nope," I said, popping the 'p' teasingly.

"How come?" he asked in a mock hurt voice, using the full force of his eyes to try and dazzle me.

"It's a surprise," I said playfully. I knew he could easily read over my shoulder, but I also knew he wouldn't invade my privacy. There was silence for a while, except for the scratching of my pencil against paper. After a while I put the book face down beside me.

"Does my writing all the time bother you?" I asked thoughtfully.

"No, I like watching you write, you're funny when you concentrate," he chuckled. I blushed, now I had even more reason to be self-conscious.

"And I like hearing your songs, they're the only way I get to know what your really thinking," he continued. Before I could respond, Emmett burst in.

"Dan says we're almost there. We're in town now and we'll be at the concert in about two minutes," he said, excitement plain in his voice. Out of everyone, Emmett was probably the most excited to be on tour. He loved going to the concerts and playing body guard.

I laughed as I looked out of the window, he was right, I could see the buildings pass. It was a nice change from the countryside I'd been watching for the past few hours. Of course the countryside was beautiful, but it got a bit monotonous after a while.

I stood up, about to start collecting my things together, but saw that Edward had already done it. I rolled my eyes, but gave him a quick peck on the cheek to show my thanks.

When we got to the concert arena and stepped off the buses there were hundreds of people around and a bunch of them swarmed to us. The rest of the band gathered around me, and then the rest of the family stood around us, protecting us at the heart of the group. The guys acted as body guards, ushering us through the crowds.

When we got inside I pulled Edward off to the side. I knew I was about to be dragged off to hair, make-up and sound checks, and I wouldn't get another chance to talk to him before the show started.

"We have to follow a set list of songs for the concert, so don't listen to anything I say tonight… well, almost anything," I had been worrying all day about how he would react having to listen to me perform the not-so-love songs about him over and over again, but I added the last part, remembering my surprise. He nodded his head and I smiled, grabbing his hand and pulling him back to the group.

**  
Edward's POV:**

As my Bella pulled me back to the rest of our family I wondered what she had meant by _almost_ anything. I guess I would find out eventually, but I was impatient, and I knew Bella enjoyed teasing me.

The band started to get called for a sound check so I leaned down to give my angel one last kiss good luck. As always, when I pulled away I wished it could last longer.

My family and I were directed to one of the spare, unused changing rooms where we waited for the show to start. Finally, we could hear the hundreds of humans packing into the building and we went to join them in our front row seats.

Eventually, the lights went down and the band came on stage to tremendous applause from the audience. Bella did her usual intro, always surprising me a little with the confidence she had on stage. They started playing the usual songs. No matter how many times I heard her sing it never ceased to amaze me how beautiful her voice was.

I listened through all of their songs, Bella's words replaying in my head; _don't listen to anything I say tonight_. I tried, but it was hard to stop that small feel of doubt in the back of my mind. She had been so upset and hurt when she wrote these songs, could she ever truly get over that?

Alice must have seen my worry because she said, "Don't worry Edward, she's just a good actress, you'll see". She must have had a vision, so I tried to read her thoughts, but she was blocking them by translating the Spanish national anthem into German backwards in her mind.

The night continued on dreadfully slow and I waited impatiently to finally be clued in on what was going on. The band finally finished the last song.

"Alright guys, I've got one more song for you all. This one's just a little surprise I wrote today," she looked down and grinned at me as she said this.

"Let me know what you think, here it goes,"

**  
Mwuahahah, yes I am that evil that I'm going to leave it there :P Guess you'll just have to wait until next chapter to see what the song is… Haha. Sorry it's short :( Only one more chapter to go! And then it will officially be over! No more extra chapters! I think I might cry… hehe. But I would feel a whole lot better if you reviewed and told me what you thought ;) Thanks for reading guys!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry for not updating in a while, I've sort of been avoiding it, you'll see why in the bottom a/n. Thanks to those who reviewed, though there wasn't many of you which made me sad :( Last chapter of **_**Music; my release**_**! Sorry in advance, it's more like an epilogue, so it's really short.**

**  
Disclaimer:** Don't own Twilight or the song.

_  
End of last chapter:_

"_Alright guys, I've got one more song for you all. This one's just a little surprise I wrote today," she looked down and grinned at me as she said this._

"_Let me know what you think, here it goes,"_

**  
Bella's POV:**

"Let me know what you think, here it goes", I said.

_  
There's somethin' 'bout the way  
The street looks when it's just rained  
There's a glow off the pavement  
Walk me to the car  
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there  
In the middle of the parking lot  
Yeah  
Oh yeah_

We're drivin' down the road  
I wonder if you know  
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now  
But you're just so cool  
Run your hands through your hair  
Absent mindedly makin' me want you

And I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress  
Fearless

So baby drive slow  
'til we run out of road in this one horse town  
I wanna stay right here in this passenger's seat  
You put your eyes on me  
In this moment now capture it, remember it

Cause I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress  
Fearless

Well you stood there with me in the doorway  
My hands shake  
I'm not usually this way but  
You pull me in and I'm a little more brave  
It's the first kiss,  
It's flawless,  
Really something,  
It's fearless.

Oh yeah  
And I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress  
Fearless

I wrote this song to show Edward I trusted him, that I wasn't scared of him, as he always thought I should be. There were so many things I would never have ever pictured myself doing, but with Edward I just let go of my fears and let him guide me. I trusted and loved him with all of my heart, and I needed him to know that.

When I finished the song I asked the crowd, "So what did you think?" There was a massive applause and lots of screaming and yelling, so I took that as positive sign. I guess they were sick of all of my heart broken songs.

I said goodnight and we exited the stage to be met in the change rooms by the Cullens.

"Great show guys!" Alice squealed. We all laughed at her enthusiasm and said our thanks. We talked to a few of the backstage crew and thanked them for their help in making the concert a success. We didn't really have much to do after that so we headed out to the buses. We were again swarmed by fans, and took a few minutes to take pictures and sign autograph books. Leon and Steve got the most attention from the crazed fan girls, and even Emmett, Jasper and Edward were asked to take a few pictures.

We finally made it to the buses and I had my human minute and said goodnight to everyone, ready to get some serious sleep. After the excitement and adrenaline rush of concerts, I was always left exhausted. I walked into the bedroom to find Edward sitting on the edge of the bed. He pulled me into his lap.

"Thankyou," he whispered into my ear.

"For what?" I asked, confused.

"For trusting me, even though I don't deserve it after everything I've done to you. I don't know how I deserve such an amazing creature to love me," he said. I shook my head, when was he going to realize I was the lucky one?

He lay down, pulling me with him.

"Sleep, my love," he whispered lovingly as he began humming my favourite tune; my lullaby. I snuggled deeper into his chest and drifted to sleep, my thoughts and dreams filled with the sweetness of Edward.

**  
Told you it was short. The song was 'Fearless' by Taylor Swift. When I wrote this I was doing that song in my singing class so I really wanted to use it, though it sort of annoys me now haha :)**

**Okay I have some important news to share. I happen to be one of the biggest procrastinators in the world (which means I put everything off) and you know what my biggest distraction is? Fanfiction. I love writing for you guys and the stories on here are so fantastic that I just get totally hooked. So I have decided that if I want to survive the next two and a half years of my school life, I'm going to have to really knuckle down, which requires me banning myself from fanfiction. I know it probably sounds stupid to some of you, but it's what I need to do. **

**I just want to say a massive thank you to anyone who's ever read, reviewed, favourited or alerted me or my stories, you guys are fantastic. Thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting me and joining me on my journey as a writer. I really feel I have improved and I couldn't have done it without your love and support :) **

**So, for the very last time ever, review? I would absolutely love you for it and I'd really like this story to reach 130 reviews. Do you think we can do that?**

**Thanks again, lots of love,**

**warnesy-01 xox**


End file.
